Shower Dilemma!

mvance3

FMIL asked me if I would have my mom (who is throwing my shower) to invite her father to my bridal shower because, "he gets left out of a lot of things just because my mom is dead."  I said ok since I didn't think it would hurt...he lives out of state and probably wouldn't come anyway.  

When I asked my mom she said she felt uncomfortable doing this because the shower is for women only...he wouldn't get invited regardless of his wife being alive or dead.  She also is afraid he will be offended/ think she's strange for inviting him to a women's party.  

I asked my FI about this since it's his family and he agreed it was weird and thinks it's just his mom overreacting and his grandfather has never expressed any interest in going to the shower.

So now I don't know what to do...if I invite him, my mom and FI will feel weird about it and if I don't FMIL would be offended and upset.  What do I do???

banana468

Can FI talk to his mom and say that the shower is a really girly thing so his grandfather will stick out like a sore thumb.

BUT, in turn, can he ask his grandfather to do some pre-wedding activity?    I get wanting people to be included but I don't know many men who want to watch a girl ooh and aaah over candlesticks and tablecloths.

mvance3

After talking to FI about it, he's going to talk to his dad and see what he thinks and possibly call his grandfather directly and just ask him about it.  His grandpa isn't able to come to the wedding because of work, so asking him to come to something else would be a nice idea...thank you!