Pre-wedding Parties
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Two Co-ed Bridal Showers

My family and hometown is in New England. My FI and I, and his family and our local friends live in the south. So I've got two bridal showers to accomodate both sides of our union. My BMs are nowhere to be found and my GMIL was asking if there was a bridal shower and when. Etiquette states I shouldn't set it up myself, or host it myself - my BM are supposed to do it for me. But do I come right out and hunt them down to ask them if and when they're setting up the southern bridal shower? (that seemed rude to me, but my family is asking when it will be held so they can clear their calendars) And the northern one, my BMs are too busy to set it up and don't have the funds to chip in for anything... so my mother opted to do it all. I didn't think she was supposed to take care of everything for the northern one either. Am I wrong?

Re: Two Co-ed Bridal Showers

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    edited December 2011
    No one is supposed to do anything for you; showers are not required.

    Anyone can host a shower.  Used to be that it was frowned upon for mothers to host showers, but that's kind of fallen away in most places.  Your mother is fine to host your shower in New England; mine hosted mine that was in Massachusetts, and my stepmom and aunt/MOH are hosting a second up there.

    No, you don't hunt anyone down.  Whenever anyone asks about a shower in the south, you say "I'm sorry, I don't know of any plans for one right now" and that's it.  If people want to host one, they'll offer.  You don't ask.

    Plus, your wedding isn't until October.  April is pretty early to even be thinking about showers.  It's very likely that someone may be planning to host one for you but it's just not on their radar right now, given that your wedding is six months away.  Most showers are within two months of the wedding.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_two-co-ed-bridal-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:7e73dacd-703e-44a4-9bc4-20383413cbe2Post:5a10c6c2-d6a3-4ad4-8a1a-e0974f83b215">Re: Two Co-ed Bridal Showers</a>:
    [QUOTE]No one is supposed to do anything for you; showers are not required. Anyone can host a shower.  Used to be that it was frowned upon for mothers to host showers, but that's kind of fallen away in most places.  Your mother is fine to host your shower in New England; mine hosted mine that was in Massachusetts, and my stepmom and aunt/MOH are hosting a second up there. No, you don't hunt anyone down.  Whenever anyone asks about a shower in the south, you say "I'm sorry, I don't know of any plans for one right now" and that's it.  If people want to host one, they'll offer.  You don't ask. Plus, your wedding isn't until October.  April is pretty early to even be thinking about showers.  It's very likely that someone may be planning to host one for you but it's just not on their radar right now, given that your wedding is six months away.  Most showers are within two months of the wedding.
    Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]


    All of this!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    282image Invited to celebrate!
    208image Will be Dancing the night away!
    74image Won't be having any fun
    0image are giving me a major headache

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    edited December 2011
    Thanks Ladies~ as you know, things get crazy, and I hate the feeling of things being left to last minute - which is more often than not when it comes to my BM (i still love them though). I know its a gift, not an expectation to have showers. I guess I was feeling a bit more pressure when several people start asking me what the plans are, as if I'm a ring leader and have all the answers. It's good to know that I can say, "I don't know as of yet", and be confident that if its meant to happen it will happen.
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