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Pre-wedding Parties
marburger06
member
Is it actually rude to plan your own Bachelorette Party?
I've seen it thrown around here that one should never plan her own bachelorette party. I'm wondering though if this is only for situations in which you are asking your party guests to contribute a lot of money or do something else extravagent? I had been expecting to plan my own because my bridesmaids are scattered across the country and I will be the only one living in and familiar with the city where I want my party (my job and other circumstances will prevent me from going somewhere else for the party). The bridesmaids have offered to help plan, but frankly I think it's *more* inconsiderate to ask them to do a ton of research and planning from afar when I know the city better and it's easier for me to make arrangements. I also don't want anyone, even the bridesmaids, to feel pressured to fly across the country for me; they all are busy people too and I'm not planning on having some massive massive party, just a fun night out plus brunch or something. I guess what I'm asking is whether it would be OK in this situation to just plan things myself, and maybe just have a bridesmaid who I know can attend help spread the word? Thanks.
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Re: Is it actually rude to plan your own Bachelorette Party?
[QUOTE]Yes, it is always rude to plan your own bparty. It is a party to honor and celebrate you, and other people are paying for you as well as themselves. If you're worried about your BMs being from out of town, you can offer to make some suggestions based on the budget they set, but you shouldn't do the inviting or plan the itinerary yourself. Y<strong>ou wouldn't throw your own birthday party, would you?</strong> If your BMs have offered, then help them out however they need, by all means. But a Bparty is a gift to you, and turning it down then planning your own sends the message that you don't trust them to make this gift good enough for you. If no one was planning one for you, I would advise you to plan a girl's night out and not call it a bparty, but since your girl's have offered, I would let them.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
I think this, along with the previous post about "knowing your social circle," answers my question. Yes, it is actually common in my social circle to throw your own birthday party - everyone does it. It's not like they expect gifts, it's just an excuse to go out with your friends or host a get-together at your house. That's sort of how I'm treating my bachelorette party - it's really an excuse to hang out with my closest friends before the wedding. Even if it is more like a "girls night out" (though some guys will be invited too), I think people with think it's weird if I don't call it a Bachelorette Party - I wouldn't be having it if I wasn't getting married, so why hide that fact?
Sorry for asking for advice and then rejecting a lot of it; I know a lot of people probably wonder "why ask at all if you won't follow it?", but it really does help to sort out my thoughts about it.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Is it actually rude to plan your own Bachelorette Party? : I think this, along with the previous post about "knowing your social circle," answers my question. Yes, it is actually common in my social circle to throw your own birthday party - everyone does it. It's not like they expect gifts, it's just an excuse to go out with your friends or host a get-together at your house.
Posted by marburger06[/QUOTE]
It's the same with my group of friends - the person who ha s a birthday is always encouraged to plan it themselves and send out emails....I find it so wierd :)
Here's my rule for wedding "etiquette": Just because there's a wedding in the background does not mean you need to behave more formally to your family and closest friends than you would in "normal life."
Alternatively, just because you're also planning a wedding doesn't mean you can't plan any other parties. If you're worried about etiquette, call it a "girls' weekend" or whatever. Plan and send out invitations like you would for any gathering where each person pays her own way (and, yeah, pay your own way).
[QUOTE]I don't think it is rude. The whole purpose of a Baccelorette party, is to go out and have a good time. Etiquette is the LAST thing on any girl's mind at a bachlorette party. I helped plan mine because all of the bridesmaids were not familiar with the area. I picked the hotel, where we ate dinner, and the bars. The girls made all of the arrangements, such as transportation, and reservations. They took charge of the games, drinks, and sending out invitations.
Posted by NinaTony[/QUOTE]
This is basically what I was planning on doing. I don't want to make it sound like none of my maids/friends were interested and I decided to throw one anyway; I just don't see the point in them doing a lot of research about what fun things there are to do in my city and me either rejecting them until they happen to hit something I like. I figure I will just pick the places we go and what we do there, and let one of the maids who volunteered take care of contacting everyone and planning any kind of games/themes/etc. that are the norm for bachelorette parties. I will absolutely pay for everything for myself unless someone insists otherwise.
[QUOTE]I guess by some of your answers that I am a rude bride.I've planned my own bachelorette party which basically consists of a Pure Romance Party.The only money my guests will pay is if they order something.<strong>I wasn't suppose to plan it myself but I guess that happens when your MOH steps down 2 weeks before the wedding.</strong>
Posted by guardiangel6386[/QUOTE]
I'm finding myself in a similar situation.. I had a friend offer to host and then 4 weeks before the party date (with no actual plans or invites sent out) she tells me shes out of town that weekend and can't even make it. I might end up throwing myself a girl's night out, but i thin kmost people will just call it a bachelorette anyways because its the same date as the supposed bachelorette-that-will-not-be