Shower headache!

kwhale1

My maternal aunts want to host me a shower next spring/summer and we are already having issues about dates.  My mom and her sisters want to have it on a Friday night because they think it takes up less of the weekend.  I think it is a horrible idea and would much prefer it on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon especially because my groom's family and my dad's side of the family lives out of town! Plus, after a long work week, who wants to trek to the suburbs for  shower! How do I resolve this issue without sounding like a bridezilla or for offending my aunts who are gracious enough to host the party?

twilight.rose

You really can't, in my opinion. The shower hosts generally get to decide the date/time that the shower takes place. If they opt to have it on a Friday evening, you really don't have much say in the matter.

Particularly if you've already expressed your desire to have it on a Saturday or Sunday, and they still seem adamant about Friday, I would just let it go. People who can't make it will decline, and it will be fine.

Kristin789

I don't understand this part:

>>because my groom's family and my dad's side of the family lives out of town

The SHOWER is for the bride's closest friends.  You can also invite MOB and MOG and grandmothers if you want.  This is NOT a time for your groom's family to come.  This is NOT a time for your dad's side of the family to come.

The ENGAGEMENT PARTY hosted by the bride's parents is for the entire bride's extended family to meet FI - this is the party to which you dad's side of the family comes.

The ENGAGEMENT PARTY hosted by the groom's parents is for the entire groom's extended family to meet the bride - this is the party to which your groom's family comes.

Whippet8

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_shower-headache?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:8138e816-21b2-4454-bde9-77632466186fPost:6f705960-c891-48d4-a636-5fe7f663666f">Re: Shower headache!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand this part: />>because my groom's family and my dad's side of the family lives out of town The SHOWER is for the bride's closest friends.  You can also invite MOB and MOG and grandmothers if you want.  This is NOT a time for your groom's family to come.  This is NOT a time for your dad's side of the family to come. The ENGAGEMENT PARTY hosted by the bride's parents is for the entire bride's extended family to meet FI - this is the party to which you dad's side of the family comes. The ENGAGEMENT PARTY hosted by the groom's parents is for the entire groom's extended family to meet the bride - this is the party to which your groom's family comes.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

It's definitely not like this everywhere. Every bridal shower I've gone to has had family from both sides there, and it is also always a mix of family and friends.

Most people around here also don't have engagement parties, and if they do, they don't have separate parties for both sides of the family.


OP, Unfortunately, the hosts do have the final say, but if you do talk about the inconvenience for the guests, try to be as respectful as possible. Don't push it too much if they are truly dead set on a Friday.

SuMmErKuTiE

Ditto Melko, all the bridal showers I've been to have the brides closest friends and family present. All my aunts, grandmas, DH's mom, DH's mom's sisters, friends, etc.. were there. It makes more sense to have one shower with everyone present.

As for engagement parties, we had one and everyone on both sides were there. We didn't have an engagement party for each side of the family. We only had one, and it worked out great.

OP: You can voice your opinion and point out what would work best for your guests, but leave it up to the hosts to figure everything out. Sit back and enjoy a beautiful party thrown for you.

loop0406

I think the shower should also include some of the groom's side (sisters, closest female cousins, mother) etc...

I have always heard and seen where the hostess asks the bride for the guest list, addresses, theme suggestion and date/time she's available. The b shower is for the bride, not the hostess and it's only fair for bride to have input and be happy.

ecuchika

I don't know why your dad's side should NOT be invited...for me my parents are split and my shower will have aunts/cuzs from both sides of my family AND FI's family there.  My parents split after I was in my 20s so I have grown close to both sides and I talk to my dad's sisters a lot here lately. 

I would tell hostess thanks for offering to host a shower..I would tell  mom that after work on Friday that you would be too exhausted to travel to shower and you would like to have time to enjoy yourself and feel that you couldn't b/c you would be too tired from work.  I get off work at 6:30pm fridays and I know I would dread having to go home get ready then make it somewhere special like that. HTHs