Self-addressed: When you are asked to address your shower thank-you note

CranburyBride

I came across this on the Emily POst site today: http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/11/self-addressed-when-the-bride-asks-you-to-address-your-thank-you-note/

How do you feel about being asked to self-address your thank-you at showers?  I see this more and more to the point that I think it is becoming the norm.  But after reading this I may ask my MOH and the family friend that are throwing my showers to kindly not do this.  I am split on this.

MairePoppy

I have only seen this done, once, at a baby shower. The shower was huge and the hostess was trying to make it easier for the mom2be to write the TYs. I'd like to think the mom2be had nothing to do with this idea, because it's tacky, IMO. A few of the guests didn't take very kindly to this idea. If the guests have taken their time to shop for and wrap a gift, then the TY is the recipients responsibility.

A better idea would be to buy the guest of honor an address book. Ask all the guests to fill in their correct names and addresses. That would be a nice little extra gift for her.

hlq2011

Kind of annoying, but in the grand scheme of things, pretty far down on the list of things that irritate me. 

For FSIL's shower, the BMs passed around an address book, like Maire suggested.  I thought that was a great idea.  I actually really would like a physical address book, because it's a pain only having my addresses electronically.

banana468

I dislike this a ton. I take the time to shop, buy a gift, wrap it and drive to the shower taking time out of my weekend to do so and getting thanks is contingent upon ME writing out my TY card envelope?! If only I could say that the bride had to wrap her own gift. FWIW, I was just at a shower yesterday that did this. The notes were on the other side of the room from where I was, DD was a handful and the party ran late and I had to leave before it was over since it was a two hour drive home. I forgot to write out the envelope and I have to wonder why the MOB thought it was a good idea.

kgorman307

Why would this be necessary? You obvioulsy already have the guests' addresses if they received their invitations to the shower.

I don't get it. Laziness??

MobKaz

 I actually really would like a physical address book, because it's a pain only having my addresses electronically.

Shortly after my daughter became engaged, she and FI bought a home together.  As a housewarming/wedding planning gift, I bought an address book and large calendar.  I then emailed everyone on all sides of all families, and asked for addresses, (snail mail and email), landline and cell phone numbers, and significant dates for each member of that family and/or friend.

I filled the address book with all the pertinent information.  This address book also contained a small calendar, on which I jotted all significant events/names.

On the large (think: post on fridge) calendar, I transferred all significant dates, events, holidays, and (known) wedding planning needs (appointments, due dates, etc.).  With everything else they had to adjust to, having those dates at-a-glance helped them alot!

banana468

Thats where I disagree with you Retread. I'd like to think the guest of honor had nothing to do with that - unless you're referring to rethinking your friendship with the hostess. ;-)

SuMmErKuTiE

I've never seen this done at a bridal shower, and I agree with pp's that it's lazy and rude. All the guests took the time to shop for a gift, wrap it, and attend the bridal shower. The least the bride can do is write out a heartfelt thank you note and address it herself. There's no reason the bride wouldn't already have all of their addresses considering she needed them to give to the host for the bridal shower invites and the wedding invites.

I actually have a traditional address book like the one my mom has always kept underneath the phone in her kitchen. It came in super handy for all of the wedding related invites and thank you notes.

deitra86

It's funny how depending on where you are from, depends on how you will view this.  I have been to many showers, both bridal and baby.  And this is done at every one of them, so to me it is not a big deal.  They usually do this and then collect them and draw one out to win a prize  Definitely not a big deal.  It takes me two seconds to write my address, while the bride will have to look up my address and then write it down.  So it makes it slightly easier on them. 

jerseydevil

I saw it once at a baby shower and think it's extremely tacky and rude.

Shel79

Wow - I'm kind of shocked by all the responses, because this doesn't bother me a bit.  I've had to write my own at a few showers, and thought it was a great idea - it never even occurred to me that it might be rude! 

lindsay5432

I don't have a problem when I'm asked to do this, but I told the hosts of my shower that I would prefer to write all the ty notes myself for my own shower.

I have heard of one thing even worse than this -- my friend went to a bridal shower where the bride handed out the thank-you notes to everyone as they came in.  They were not personalized in any way!!  Yikes, now that is bad.