Pre-wedding Parties

Baby at a Bachelorette??

My friend is bringing her baby to my bachelorette party.  He is 4 months old.  We are going out of town over night and she has to share a hotel room with 3 other girls.  The MOH tried give her an out, she didn't take it.  WHen the MOH was going to say something about maybe she should bow out, the friend went on the defensive, MAJOR.  The MOH then tried to offer that she get a different room so the rest of us don't wake up the baby when we come in late (& so the baby doesn't wake us up too early), but she wants to stay in the room.

What do we do?

Re: Baby at a Bachelorette??

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I voted No Way! Once you have a child, that baby's welfare should be your first priority. Does this bp involve a bar crawl? Or does she expect you to tone things down because of her baby? Someone should let her know exactly what the plans are for the evening. If she doesn't come to her senses on her own, tell her the bp isn't baby friendly.
                       
  • tlbattagliatlbattaglia member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would NOT be ok with that.  If you can't find a sitter, don't come.  I don't think I would need to be told that.  And for the baby to be staying in the room with 3 others?  I don't think so!
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Her reason for bringing the baby is that she is breastfeeding.  But can't you pump or something?

    She does know what's going on that day & night.  We have told everyone.  SHe opted out of the spa part because she can't take the baby in, she is bringing the baby to dinner, then going back to the room while we go to the bar.  Then she is bringing the baby shopping the next day.

    How am I supposed to tell people they have to sleep in the room with the baby?

    AND, she is taking the baby to a different bachelorette this weekend and she's upset that that bridal party is giving her a hard time about it, but she's still going.
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I don't know that it's awful to bring a 4 mo out to dinner.  However she shouldn't force you guys to stay in the same room as an infant either.  My baby has slept through the night since she was 3 mos but not all are so lucky and it's not fair to you guys or the baby.

    What I'd say: How she's handling what she attends is fine.  She doesn't "have" to go to anything.  However if she wants to spend the night it simply isn't fair to you guys or the baby for all of you to share a room.  If she wants to be in the hotel, she needs to get her own room.  Period.
  • edited December 2011
    I say I am sympathetic to her situation ( I am not a parent) but I can understand. BUT as a parent there are something you have to sacrifice because you are a parent. It is not fair to you guys that she stay in the room with a baby and all the things a baby brings.  That is not right. Also dinner with a baby is cool but at appropriate times. It seems your weekend is a real bachelorette party and not just some random girl low -key weekend; with that being said you may have to sit her down and have a chat with her. Explain to her that it is not fair to the other girls and they have chosen not to have her split the room. Now if there is cost change if she does not split the room, and everyone is comfortable with those costs (if applies) then I would talk with her and tell her no thank you. Or get your own room. She probably will not understand and it will be up to you to decide if your friendship can handle it and is worth the drama.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    Hell no.
    imageDaisypath Wedding tickers
  • edited December 2011
    I said no way. IMO, she either should find a sitter or not come. I think first and foremost, she is not being fair to the baby, dragging him OOT and probably making him stay out late/stay in a room with other people who might be noisy, of no fault of their own. She's also not being fair to the girls who would have to stay with an infant at a bachelorette party.

    If I was your MOH, I would tell her, "We'd love for you to come, but if you do and you bring your infant, you will need to get another room. No offense to your or your child, but we do not want to stay with a baby at a bachelorette party and be worried about keeping him awake, etc." She needs to put her foot down. If she doesn't want to book a separate room, she can either not go or find a baby-sitter (or can't Dad watch the baby? Is Dad in the picture?)


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
  • edited December 2011
    Absolutely not. She needs some sense knocked into her.
    [IMG]http://i47.tinypic.com/350rxx5.jpg[/IMG]
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_baby-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:83c17e81-86b8-48a9-8f7e-2b166450bb44Post:cd6f93f2-e0f4-42da-903e-3aed48e08995">Re: Baby at a Bachelorette??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Her reason for bringing the baby is that she is breastfeeding.  But can't you pump or something? [/quote]
    That's what I used to think, but apparently not every woman can pump enough to make enough milk or something. I dunno, I'm shaky on the details, but they would know better than me lol.

    <strong>How am I supposed to tell people they have to sleep in the room with the baby?</strong>
    If that baby woke me up at any point when I don't need to be awake, I'd drag the mother with her baby into the hallway and let them sleep there. No offense to the baby, of course. I'd make sure the baby was comfy

    Here's the thing, I totally get that she wants to participate, but when you become a mother (or a father) your priorities should change and sometimes you don't always get to do the things you want to. That's life.

    If she wants to come, great, but I dont' see why everyone else has to sleep with the baby. Instead of telling the friends that they have to sleep with the baby, it should be the other way around. You should be telling her, sorry, but you and your baby need to make other arrangements for the night.
    image
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Simply, you're right that you can't "just pump" enough for a baby to be fed enough for a night away.  And even if you can, you're going to need to pump while you're away.

    But that's why she shouldn't stay in the same room with the baby.  That's why IMO showing up to dinner with the baby is fine.  Staying in the hotel with the baby is a big fat no.
  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_baby-bachelorette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:83c17e81-86b8-48a9-8f7e-2b166450bb44Post:5630bd7b-1f21-4bef-b117-f5c720cc7ae8">Re: Baby at a Bachelorette??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Simply, you're right that you can't "just pump" enough for a baby to be fed enough for a night away.  And even if you can, you're going to need to pump while you're away. But that's why she shouldn't stay in the same room with the baby.  That's why IMO showing up to dinner with the baby is fine.  Staying in the hotel with the baby is a big fat no.
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this... If I was in her position, I would just not go at all. And if I did, I wouldn't dream of staying in the same room as every one. I wouldn't want the baby to disturb anyone and I'd want some privacy to breast feed.

    If she insists on bringing the baby, I would stand my ground and tell her that she needs to get her own room. What a piece of work!

  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would definitely be a little annoyed if a friend wanted to bring her baby to my bachelorette party weekend, however I think that as long as she and her baby had their own room it would be okay. Does the hotel have joining rooms so she can still hang with the girls after the baby is asleep?
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • eck036eck036 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    To me, babies and bachelorette overnight parties are mutually exclusive.

    She should decline or, at the very least, get her own room.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards