OK, a friend of mine has her Christmas party every year the weekend before Christmas and most of my girlfriends, including myself, go to it. My bridal shower is the first weekend in December and, this year, so is the Christmas party. The two respective cities for each party are 3 hours apart with most of the girls living in a city right in between or in the same city as the Christmas party. She is already telling everyone about her party and my invites for my shower don't go out until next week. She does know about my shower because she is a close friend - bachelorette party invitee, but not bridesmaid. I have the feeling some of my bridesmaids are going to be torn about which one to go to. How do I handle it? Do I go ahead and tell them I expect them at my shower? And if they go to the other, what do I do? I feel like if they are going to choose another party over my shower then maybe they shouldnt be a bridesmaid. Advice?