Pre-wedding Parties

So tell me about a Jack and Jill Shower...

My wedding is still 7 months away, but my bridesmaids have been asking me about what I want for my wedding shower. I live in Pittsburgh, as do my bridesmaids, and most of my family lives about 3.5hours away. My fiance's family lives about 1.5 hours away. Who should I invite to the shower? Just my Pittsburgh guests, or people who would have to travel? The reason I'm asking is this - I don't really have a lot of girlfriends in Pittsburgh. I have my three bridesmaids, and 7 other girls who I'm inviting to the wedding. I do, however, have quite a few guy friends. Would an all-girls shower be too small with that guest list, or should I just go with it and have an intimate event? The other option would be to have a couples shower, which with his friends would make it probably 25 guests including the bridal party and our parents.

What are your thoughts? I do plan on consulting with my bridesmaids on this, but wanted to get some opinions first. What exactly happens at a couples shower? Can I still expect goofy games and lots of fun?

Re: So tell me about a Jack and Jill Shower...

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Have the bms offered to host a shower for you? If they have, they will let you know how many guests they can accommodate. The bride and/or groom should not plan their own showers or bps, but if the host(s) ask for your input then it's okay to give your opinion.

    As to your question, a couples shower seems like a great option. Both sets of parents, siblings, grandparents, members of your wedding party along with thier S/Os should be invited. There's no need for games because after you open your gifts, everyone will probably want to eat and socialize.

    If your hosts tell you they would like to accommodate about 10 guests, the girls shower would be fine. Showers don't have to be huge to be fun. Don't forget, the MOB, MOG and sisters should receive invitations to the shower, even if they are in the group of family members that live 3.5 hours away.
                       
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_so-tell-me-about-a-jack-and-jill-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8e39a0e3-5135-43d3-a58f-472da860a0a3Post:5457a9e9-3c9c-493b-a066-57d56da7def5">Re: So tell me about a Jack and Jill Shower...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have the bms offered to host a shower for you? If they have, they will let you know how many guests they can accommodate. The bride and/or groom should not plan their own showers or bps, but if the host(s) ask for your input then it's okay to give your opinion. 
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, they offered to throw me one. I have so much else on my plate right now that I wouldn't even think of trying to throw my own shower! lol. I honestly would have liked it better if she just told me how many people could come and asked for a list of addresses. She did ask how many people she should plan for, whether I wanted couples or women-only, and if I had any theme ideas. Maybe brides around here are typically super involved?</div><div>
    </div><div>Has anyone been to/been thrown a Jack and Jill shower? What did you think? Which type of shower do you like better? I just want to have a good time and not stress out my bridesmaids, and to be honest I'm looking forward to wedding-themed games.</div>
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Good! I don't think it's typical that brides are involved in planning their showers, but I've seen some interesting posts from brides doing just that. I'm sure they are in the minority.

    Both types of showers are about the same. Everyone watches the bride, or couple open gifts, then they eat and socialize. Shower games are not typical in my group. If it's important to you to include your male friends, and your fi's friends, then go with the couples shower.
                       
  • My shower was a co-ed BBQ.  No games, because I hate them, but it was still really fun.  There were less than 20 people.
    Anniversary
  • edited October 2012
    My friend had a couples shower and then bach parties right afterward since all the attendants, friends and family lived in multiple states - myself included. It was very lowkey - snacks and socializing. I think a lot of people played the Wii as well. They opened gifts and after that, people slowly trickled out.

    If you want to have a fun game to get people together, esp if it's a co-ed shower...you could consider a beer guessing game. Obviously it depends on what kind of shower it is, and how family would react, but FI and I put it together for our friends' shower and it was a great hit! We bought mixed packs of pretty common beers and dished them out in 3oz numbered cups. Everyone had the names of the 10 types and just had to match them up correctly to the number. We offered prizes to the top 3 scorers.

    FI also wants to do a couples shower and have our bach parties right after. We're in the same boat in that our friends and family are 6+ hours away. We'd probably do the same beer game...and maybe card games or the Wii. It wouldn't be traditional wedding games.

    It just depends on what kind of party you want to have :)
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