Pre-wedding Parties

help! advise please! Found out a family secret!

Hello all,

So my wonderful future mother in law is planning our engagement party and this past weekend I found out some family information that was very sad and upsetting and I dont know what to do.  My family was told and then they called me and told me but they wanted to be careful because they knew it would not make me happy and I would be sad. My uncle and his wife are married for I think 30 years and they are very nice together,. My uncle went missing and no one could find him and my aunt tried to find him but no one could for about a week. He called my mom which is his sister to tell her he left and decided to go on a holiday but did not tell anyone. We were all very confused. When he got back from his holiday he was acting strange and not close to us like he usually is. He works long hours and is not home very often so my aunt thout that he was just at work all the time but he was acting strange so we hired a private investigator. He left again and did not tell anyone so the investigator followed and found out that he is seeing a woman ont he side. I went on facebook and found her and she is in high school!!!!!!! she is 17 years old but will be 18 years old this month. My uncle left my aunt and they are getting a divorce but he told me that he will be bringing his new love to my engagement party and I dont want that to happen. What should I do?

Thank you,

~ always lovely ~

Re: help! advise please! Found out a family secret!

  • edited December 2011
    Are you sure you found the correct 'girlfriend' on facebook? If you are, tell your uncle that his new friend is not on the guest list. It's not cool that he has been 'dating' a minor, married or not.
                       
  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    If you are not comfortable with the new gf coming to your engagement party, you need to relay this to your Uncle.  You are completely well within in your right to say she is not welcome....in a nice way of course ;)

    If it were me, I would feel like him parading the new gf around in front of everyone, including your aunt, at your engagement party, would seem like a major slap in the face.

    I am really sorry that this is going on with your family right now and I hope everything works out :)

     

  • edited December 2011
    MariePoppy i know it was her on facebook I know just because the investigator had a picture of her standing out of a grocery store where they had one of their dates and he found out her name because he had his friend run her plates and it came up. She looks really young and ugly and she is much younger than me so it is very strange. The investigator caught him having sexual relations with her in her in a field and in a parking lot but outside of a the car in the open and my aunt is going to press changes and tell her parents. it just awful and i dont know what to do.
  • OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Let your Aunt handle this.  I'm pretty sure she will release her wrath on him and rightfully so.  Just be there to offer her support or take her out to lunch, anything to keep her mind off of him and to keep her busy in general.

    The only thing you can do is tell your Uncle that you are not comfortable having her at your E party.

    ETA:  the same thing goes for the invitation to said Uncle.  I would address it to him only with no +1 incuded...at all.

     

  • edited December 2011
    Loveylady- That's disgusting! I'm glad your aunt is going to tell her parents and report it to the police. Depending on the age of consent in your state, you uncle might have a restraining order against him.
    You should tell your uncle, in no uncertain terms, that the girl is not welcome at your engagement party.
                       
  • Ash61612Ash61612 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_advise-please-found-out-family-secret?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:92bebc2a-8242-4293-aa84-5711f44cd2ebPost:02ff409a-d4f8-40de-80a2-cd1e929131db">Re: help! advise please! Found out a family secret!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Let your Aunt handle this.</strong>  I'm pretty sure she will release her wrath on him and rightfully so.  <strong>Just be there to offer her support or take her out to lunch, anything to keep her mind off of him and to keep her busy in general.</strong> The only thing you can do is tell your Uncle that you are not comfortable having her at your E party. ETA:  <strong>the same thing goes for the invitation to said Uncle.  I would address it to him only with no +1 incuded...at all.</strong>
    Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]
    agree with all of this. Sorry you are going through this
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  • Grits8812Grits8812 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Let your aunt handle the legal part of it, but be there for her support if she wants it.
    As for your party, nicely tell him that his girlfriend is not invited.  I personally don't think she has a right to be there, or that he has the right to bring her due to the situation.
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