Pre-wedding Parties

bach party planning (long, sorry)

So I need help with what, if anything, I should do with my bachlorette party.

The way it worked out was that my MOH was going to do the shower, and the other 2 BMs wanted to plan the bach party.  Now there has been all sorts of confusion lately - my one BM has been nothing but trouble in my life in all matters WR and non-WR and she is a known "bully."  When I first talked to her about the bach party I was told to stay out of it and that she'd plan me the most awesome party ever (which meant the party she would want - like strippers and all that jazz which sounds like torture to me- and all my ideas were boring).  I got wind from the other BM though that she decided to tone it down and was planning something that sounded decent.  Ok - great.

I figured out what she is planning though (it's not that hard - I know what she likes to do).  And it's not really "me" at all. I mean, it's the kind of thing I'll do if that's what everyone else wants to do, but it's certainly not something I'd choose to do. 

The thing is, I don't think the other girls really want to do it either.  And it's pricey!!!

I just feel bad if people are traveling and spending all that money, and it's not even anything fun to me (or much to them).  They've all mentioned to her other ideas (as have I without letting her know that I know what her idea is) and she just ignores it and keeps saying her idea is the best so we should just do that. 

I don't want to say too much to anyone else because if we do end up doing her idea I don't want anyone else to feel bad that they're spending money on something I don't even really care for.  And yes, I'm sure we can just go and I'll have a fine time, but I still will feel bad then.  I know none of us are rich and people are willing to go out and spend money to do something fun with me, so I don't want to feel like I'm cheating them.  Also it's kind of far from some people, close to her of course, but far from others.  Of course, she already said she won't go anywhere far from her.

So, should I come right out to the BM in charge and say "I know what you're planning, it's a great idea, but the other girls and I aren't really big on it (and we don't even have enough people to get the cheaper package also).  My friend suggested a couple of alternative options, why don't we pick one of them?  They seem cheaper, no guest minimum, a more central location, and more "up my alley"."

How does that sound?  Or do I just keep my mouth shut and let them handle it (which will probably mean doing what she wants to do)?

Re: bach party planning (long, sorry)

  • BrambleBerryBrambleBerry member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm curious what she's planning
  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Instead of saying "The other girls and I aren't really big on it" I think you should own up and tell her that YOU are the one that isn't relaly big on it. Don't drag everyone else into there with you. I would tell her that you would prefer to have a bachlorette party that is more "up your alley", suggest a couple of the alternative options (without saying that they're someone else's). If she refuses to change her plans then say, "Well, i really want to thank you for organizing this, I really do appreciate what you want to do for me, but I'm going to have to decline the bachlorette party because I don't feel comfortable with the current plans."
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