im not sure if i except this shower or not??

id012

So we are having a tiny wedding 20 ppl at the beach. Just parents siblings and our best friends. My FFIL has offered to host a party a week after to celebrate with everyone like 200 ppl mostly family My FSMIL wants to host a shower for me. Which is so so nice! But i feel funny excepting. I feel werid inviting people to a shower when they arent invited to the ceremony. wwyd? Gracefully decine or except the shower?

freebread03

Because the people that your FMIL want to invite to the shower are not invited to your wedding, you should gracefully decline her generous offer.  Accepting the shower and including those who are not invited to the actual wedding is poor etiquette--your instincts are correct.

TJSara

If they are the same people that are invited to the 200 person party, because that would be similar to your reception, I would accept the shower.

littlebean1

I honestly dont see anything wrong with accepting. Lots of people have very small weddings or destination weddings and have a larger party at a later date with ALL the people who couldnt be at the wedding. 

I would say if you do that, have a slide show going of the wedding or have photos out of the day to make your guests feel included.

 I personally would not be offended if a family member or friend got married and had a small wedding that i wasnt invited to and then invited me to a party afterwards to celebrate.

Bottom line, this is a celebration of you and your new hubby and people who care about you two, should be excited to celebrate!