who pays for the alcohol?

vwhitney2107

Please forgive me if this is already posted somewhere. I did a search and didn't find anything on this topic. My question is, is it appropriate to have our guests pay for their own alcohol at the rehearsal dinner? My FI and I will be paying for the dinner ourselves and of course will be picking up the tab on juice, milk, soda, ect...but we would prefer to have our guests pay for their own alcohol if they choose to drink. Is this ok to do? Thanks. = )

deepcovejackie

I'd say no.  If I were hosting a RD, I'd be paying for the alcohol too.  Also, how do you politely go about telling people that?  And then how would bills etc work?  Seems awkward.

I'd say, if you're mindful of budget, a good plan would be to host the RD at home with simple fare like pizza and beer.

vwhitney2107

Initially we had wanted to do the RD at our home and do a backyard BBQ style but we realized with the wedding party, their dates, and our parents we just don't even have close to enough room. We found an affordable restaurant that is within our budget that can accommodate our party but the majority of our wedding party likes to drink...like they will knock a few back whenever they have the chance to celebrate anything. We are afraid the alcohol tab would put us WAY over budget. The restaurant did say they would be able to put all food and non-alcoholic drinks on one tab.

LoveMuffins

I would just arrange with the restaurant beforehand to have a set number of bottles of wine. So that way you can look at your budget, choose a red and a white, and tell the restaurant that ONLY 6 bottles of red and 6 bottles of white should be served. No more. Also, let the restaurant know that if guests want to get non-wine drinks, to inform them that they can but that it will have to be on their own tab.

I've been a server in a restaurant before so it doesn't sound nearly as tacky as I wrote it.

Server: Would you like red or white wine?
Guest: I'd really like a vodka tonic.
Server: I'm sorry but that's not part of this event's menu. However, if it's what you'd really like I can start a separate check for you.
Guest: Nah, I'll just have the wine / Sounds good!

It always amazed me how many people were willing to start their own tab and order as many vodka tonics as they wanted. And the servers will just stop bringing around the wine to refill once the pre-arranged number of bottles run out, so you don't have to tell anyone "no more"... the wine just stops appearing.

Good luck!

hlq2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_pays-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:93cff67e-2392-4c78-8675-3c4698618601Post:fed00858-2790-4ebe-b0cb-387b99aad582">Re: who pays for the alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd say no.  If I were hosting a RD, I'd be paying for the alcohol too.  Also, how do you politely go about telling people that?  And then how would bills etc work?  Seems awkward. I'd say, if you're mindful of budget, a good plan would be to host the RD at home with simple fare like pizza and beer.
Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

This.  The host pays the tab, but it's also up to you to determine what you want to host.  You can do beer and wine, or have it dry.

My FILs are hosting our RD, and they are doing open bar for beer and wine, I think, and then a tab for liquor; that way, everything is available but they're not stuck paying an open bar tab for liquor when, for our Italian seated dinner most people will probably stick to wine and beer, with limited exceptions.

rknox88

Alcohol isn't being hosted at our RD because FIL's (they are hosting) do not agree with alcohol consumption. Therefore, if anyone chooses to drink it will be on their tab.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If you are concerned you can print up a few menus of what will be available that night and place them on the tables so people have a better idea.

Hippinhipster

We aren't providing alcohol at our RD either! If someone wants a drink that bad they can pay for it themselves