invite to bachlorette party, but not wedding??

spartybride3

I know this is probably going to get a big, fat "No way", but could I invite non-guests to my bachlorette party???

The reason I'm asking is because we had to cut work people because there was just too many (especially for me because I work in a school & there are a few girls I would like to invite, but we just don't have the room & $$...it would be like 30 extra people). Also, one of my bridesmaids is a friend from grad school & she is in another wedding for someone from grad school. This other girl & I aren't friends, but like eachother just fine and are more acquaintances. My BM was talking to this other girl about my wedding & bach party & the girl said "Oh that sounds like fun, do you think she would care if I came?" My friend said she didn't know, but that she also needed to understand that she probably wasn't invited to the wedding & the girl didn't seem to mind. 

I have no problem with her coming, because to me, the more the merrier. My MOH (that is my FSIL) said she had a lot of people that weren't invited to the wedding come to the bach party. I just don't know if that would be wrong or offensive to invite those that aren't invited to the actual wedding.

Again, I know this is probably going to get a "No" from most people, but just wondering how this invite would go out. 

Thanks!

OBX2011

NO.  If you invite someone to your shower or your B party, they must be invited to the wedding.  Period.  There are no exceptions to this rule IMO.  It would be considered beyond rude to invite someone to 1 event and not the wedding.

spartybride3

I don't think that they *must* be invited to the wedding. I understand that it could be poor etiquite or rude to invite people to any prewedding party & not the wedding. I've also read a lot of other forums and sites that said its perfectly ok & that many brides do it. My wedding is also out of state, so a lot of co-workers, etc wouldn't be able to come anyway. 

saric83

I agree with PP's in that it's definitely not okay.

For whatever reason, in our social circles, some people seem to think this is acceptable behavior and more than once, other friends have been invited to the b-parties and had NO idea that we weren't invited to the wedding (when I was invited), and it awkwardly came up in conversations throughout the night. 

Just because the one girl may genuinely be okay with it, does not mean that everyone else would be, and there's just too much of a chance that you'll hurt people's feelings (not to mention having drunken drama the night of the b-party.)

Please don't do it!