HELP - Bachelorette Party - Do I have to have one?

OHRunner3

I have a really big wedding party - 9 girls - 3 of whom are sisters of mine or my fiance.  The problem is, I truly do not want to have a bachelorette party of any kind.  I don't think all the girls will get along and I will feel a lot of pressure to make everyone happy.  It is just a situation I'd rather avoid but a few of the bridesmaids are making me feel like I'm being selfish by not having one.  We are all in our 30's so I didn't think this would be an issue.  Thoughts?  Do I need to do something?

twilight.rose

It's a major etiquette breech to throw your own b-party. You only get one if someone (a BM, for example) offers to host it.

If your BMs think you need one, they can offer to host it. You can, of course, decline any pre-wedding parties if you choose.

waltzingmatilda13

You don't need to do anything but tell your BMs that you don't want a b-party, end of story. They should respect your decision and leave it alone.

OHRunner3

Thank you - that is what I was hoping to hear!  It is just not my thing....it doesn't make the wedding, or my wedding party any less special or important to me.

mysticl

There is no need to have a b-party. No idea why your friends are acting like you are selfish for not having one.  If I anything it sounds like they are being selfish for putting their desire to go out and party over your wishes.  And they can always go out on their own.

SuMmErKuTiE

Of course you don't have to have a bachelorette if you don't want one. All you have to do is politely decline an offer for a b-party if one of your BM's wants to throw one for you. Chances are out of 9 BM's someone will be planning something and when they come to you about it, just tell them you'd rather not have one, but thanks for the generous offer.