Who should throw the bridal/wedding shower?

JennyW17

my family has done everything for our wedding. my fiance's dad and fiance want to take the traditional route of who pays for what... which, times are changing and people dont always do that. no one has offered to throw us a shower... except for my aunt on my moms side... shes is throwing it for women in my mom and dad family (theres not a lot of them). my parents dont have a lot of money... while my fiance's dad/family are comfortable enough financially they can very well afford to help with things. i dont feel that its fair to make my parents pay for everything.. i dont see why the families cant help each other out.... need help please!!!

SuMmErKuTiE

Ditto pp... the "tradition" of the bride's family paying for everything went out the window a loooong time ago. Out of the 4 friends I know who's weddings I attended in the last year, every couple paid for their own wedding with a little help here and there from their families (mostly from the groom's family) but the bride's parents were not footing the whole bill. It's a lot to ask of someone to just throw down $20k or more for a one day event. Most people plan and save up for their own weddings these days. If you feel like this is too much of a burden on your family, you and your FI should really step up and start helping out yourselves instead of waiting for your FIL's to step up.

As for the bridal shower, if no one offers to throw you one, then you just don't have one. But it sounds like your aunt is already planning on throwing you one so you won't be without a bridal shower. Anyone but the bride and groom can host it, your mom, your FMIL, your MOH, your BM's, your grandmother, a family friend, etc...

JennyW17

my fiance and i are 22. he just got done with school... he was in a full time diesel mechanic program. we are doing stuff ourselves for our wedding... and by no means are we having some over the top super expensive wedding... but everything costs.. no matter how skimpy you make it. it just hurts to see my family without the ability to help (but they would if they could) and then to see his family have the means and them not help. i just dont think its right that my family pays for everything... i mean im not marring myself. his family is split... dads side and moms side (after the death of his mom ). not at all looking for a pitty party. just didnt know how to go about saying something or what my fiance should say and how to do it. thanks for the advice

LandV

I know where you are coming from wanting people to help. However, people will offer to help if they want to. My parents aren't contributing to our wedding (I'm 23, so young as well) except for my wedding dress. His parent's never offered to help us so, we started planning like we had to use all our own money. It's much easier to plan at your budget and then if people offer to help later in the planning process it's a bonus.

We can't afford food or a DJ or a limo, but once his family heard this they decided they didn't want to go without dinner and a DJ, so they are paying for those now. 

Just wait it out, they may change their minds, they may not. But, now it's time to start saving your money and rearanging the piorities of your wedding. Do you want great pictures but don't need a designer dress and cake? It's all about budgeting. 

Good Luck!