Bridal Shower vs Bachlorette Party

lv0408307

Heres my issue...my best friend and her mom are wanting to throw me a Bachlorette Themed Party where I get goodies for the wedding night and whatnot. My mother is wanting to throw a more formal bridal shower, my issue is I have a small close group of friends that I've invited to the wedding due to the size of family coming and how many guests we can have total. How do I invite girls to both parties and expect gifts to both? That's just unrealistic.
I would feel awful if I were to invite friends that weren't invited to the wedding; feeling they'd think "we're not good enough to come to the wedding, but here let me get you a gift."
Ideas???

calliopeia2013

Can you invite your friends to the lingerie/bachelorette shower, and your family members to the traditional shower?  You're right that people should only be invited to one shower because anything else looks gift-grabby.  You're also absolutely right that you shouldn't invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding.

MairePoppy

This is a perfect situation for 2 separate parties. One for your friends and a more traditional shower for your family members. The MOB, MOG and wedding party should get courtesy invitations to all showers. They may choose which ones, if any they would like to attend.

IMO, it's not necessary to invite the moms to a bachelorette party.

Do not invite anyone to either party, unless you will be inviting them to the wedding, also.

lv0408307

I don't have any family here but the MOB, GOB, and MOG. All other family lives out of state....

Summer2011Bride

I see a bachelorette party and a shower as two totally different things. You are right that anyone invited to pre-wedding parties needs an invitation to the wedding. But it would be fine to have two separate guest lists for these events. I also, though, think it's fine to invite them to both and let them decide if they want to attend both, one, or neither. I invited a lot of my close girlfriends to my shower and my b-party. Many came to both. They knew I didn't expect them to and they were free to choose one over the other or not come to either.

MairePoppy

That was a reading fail, on my part. I was misunderstanding that your bp was actually a lingerie/personal shower.  If the one party is a traditional shower and the other is a bachelorette party, where some of the guests might bring novlety gifts, then it's fine for your friends to be invited to both. 

Summer is right, each of your friends may decide to attend one, none or both, since an invitation is not a subpeona.

Have fun at your parties.

gurrlballa10

We did my lingerie "shower" before we went out to dinner at my bachelorette party.  Out of all the ones I've been too, they have always been done then.  I had seperate co-ed showers before them.