I am a bridesmaid in a late June 2013 wedding (and am very excited!) The other bridesmaids are already planning the bachelorette party for mid-next year; it is about a 2 hour drive from where we all live, and they want to book rooms already since hotels are filling up quickly. It’s looking like the cheapest hotel is nearly 300$/night, and at this point in my life, I’m not really keen on packing 4 to a room and sharing a double bed. I will also be out of town the weekend prior, taking the Friday off work for a yearly trip I plan with a different group of friends.
I feel like an awful friend and bridesmaid not committing to this at this point, but it’s difficult for me to commit to something this far out without knowing if work will be crazy (and being out of town the weekend before). Frankly, I also don’t feel like spending $500+ that weekend between hotel, meals, wine tastings, limo, spa day, etc. when I'll be spending nearly $2k on plane tix for FI and I the next month for the wedding, and probably travelling for the bridal shower.
I realize that I should have expected all of this when I accepted being a bridesmaid, and I can certainly afford the financial piece of it (being able to afford it and wanting to spend it are two different things), I just wish I’d had input into what this bachelorette party was going to be (because I would have suggested doing something in town, rather than an entire weekend). I am thinking of telling them that I still can’t commit to something 6 months out because of my schedule, but that I will plan to at least come up early on Saturday and spend the night, though not sure I can spend the entire day on Sunday as well. Does this come off as difficult/cheap? I know the advice I’d give someone else would be that they should have been consulted in the planning etc. and shouldn’t do what they can’t afford, but I can’t really use the “I can’t afford it” excuse, and I really want to be there for my friend.