Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal shower and no registries

Good morning, wedding experts :)
I would appreciate your opinion on my following dilemma: my fiance does not want to have any wedding registries. Honestly, I don't care either way. We are both in our thirties, have the crap of two full households....and I think I need a yard sale more than a wedding shower. However, I also think it is more convenient for the guests to have a registry rather than wondering what to buy (and us ending up with 10 toasters....of course, they can always get re-gifted). On the other hand, I don't want to argue with the love of my life over something as ridiculous as whether to register or not.

One of my bridesmaids wants to throw me a bridal shower, and I don't want to rain on her parade but is there a point in having one without all the gifts? I don't want to offend her (and I will if I tell her I really don't need one) but at the same time, wouldn't it be awkward if we all just sit around without a big gift-opening session? I don't know much about weddings, and I am learning as I am planning, so please excuse my ignorance on the matter!! Let me know what you guys think, maybe I am having the wrong approach towards the bridal shower? Thanks!
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Re: Bridal shower and no registries

  • Why not have a themed shower?  Like stock the bar, recipe, or lingerie?
  • I agree, I didn't need more stuff so we had the idea of everyone bringing donations for a local Women's Shelter instead of gifts for me. Recipes are also good, everyone can make a personal contribution.
  • Yeah, think of non-conventional things- camping supplies, electronics, gardening, sports, whatever you guys like! Good luck!
  • The idea of donations is nice and everything but it's kind of disappointing. We already have a lot of basics from our apartment so our registry included "upgrades" like nice towels and nice appliances. Spread the word that you really like certain stores and hope for some gift cards and cash! And if you get a bunch of stuff you don't want, sell old and new on craigslist, ebay, and amazon!
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  • I agree with everyone. Have a themed shower. Kitchen themed, spa themed lotions, candles, robes, lingerie themed, cookbook/ recipe themed. Make up your own if want. Just tell her and she can spread the word or put it on the invitation. I think themed showers are more fun to buy for anyways. Not asking me to buy a 300 pot and pan set off the registry lol. I made a registry to appease the older generation, but I think I'd like a themed shower.
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  • It seems like you and  FI would be better off with cash.  Since it's rude to ask for $$ as a gift, decline the shower, but tell your friend to feel free to thrown a general luncheon or get-together with close friends.  If you don't have a registry people generally get the hint you want cash.  If people ask your bridesmaids or family why there is no registry they can say oh the bride and groom are saving for XYZ.  This can only be stated if guests are asking though; it's rude to put it out there that you want cash.
  • I think this is what I am going to do: hit Kohl's and Menards for a few things we really could use to give people the option to buy something from a registry but I am not going to advertise. My bridesmaid asked me for a list of people to invite, and since it is a girl's only party it is only going to be about 30 people anyhow, all of them good friends (we both have very little female family). Talked to my fiance about the registering last night. I basically told him that I completely understand why he does not want to register but it is just going to make life easier for all involved if we do, at least for a few things. He sighed and agreed.
    Thank you all for your advice and opinion, I really appreciate it! Hope you guys have a great week :)
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