Pre-wedding Parties
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Shower trouble, anyone else been through this?

Back in August one of my bridesmaids offered to throw my bridal shower and my MOH didn't want her to cause she wanted to do it. As much as I tried to stay out of it they both came to me and told me that I had to decide who was going to throw it. Since my MOH asked if she got to throw it first, I just kinda said she could take point on it. My other BM was understanding and said she'd help out the MOH in anyway she could.
Fast forward to December and my MOH had done nothing to plan it, despite urging from my BM and FMIL and mom. Most she did was pick out a date 2 weeks before the wedding. Both my mom and my FMIL hated the date as they knew they'd be busy with wedding prep and asked if it could be moved to January. MOH said fine and then having the date picked said she "was done planning it the time being." After hearing this my FMIL took over and has done everything from having it at her house, to sending out the invites, though has tried to keep my MOH involved. My MOH seems to have no interest in it, told me the theme for the shower which the rest wanted to keep a surprise. All my BMs have come to me complaining about her lack of doing anything for it, and her general bad attitude. I am trying my absolute hardest to stay out of it completly. I am hurt by my MOH not wanting me to talk to her about my wedding and complaining about every decision I have made about it so far. Should I just continue to grin and bear it through the wedding and hope the rest of my BM don't hate me for not talking to her or let my once best friend know I'm hurt by her hostility towards me? Any advice would be appriciate it and as it sits right now I've been just listening to complaints coming in without responding too much.

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Re: Shower trouble, anyone else been through this?

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    SD3194SD3194 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been in a couple weddings where the BMs didn't get along that well or there was always one girl who everyone despised. It's really not that big of a deal, let them handle it on their own, they're probably just bitching to have something to bitch about. Grin and bear it and enjoy your wedding.
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    jms1019jms1019 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I have stopped talking about the wedding as much as possible to her other than to let her know the stuff she needs to do (pick up dress and order shoes, and where to be when). I figured it probably best not to say anything, I just wanted to make sure I was still being fair to my other bridesmaids. I do feel bad that they're doing all the work for my shower my MOH insisted she wanted to host, but I'll be sure to thank them.

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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Make sure to write them thank you cards, acknowledging all their efforts, and to verbally thank them as well. =) and otherwise... grin and bear it. =/ She sounds like a total pill. I'm sorry you and the other girls have to deal with that.
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    P.S. If you still want to be friends with her afterwards, you might ask her if everything's okay and tell her that you've been feeling like she's got some hostility towards you. And if she responds well, try asking her to get along better with the other girls, it's not like they have to be best buddies, but she should be able to be mature and civil.
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
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    edited December 2011

    everything lovemuffins said!

    i have to say, every (wedding) party has its pooper....she sounds like she's it!  my MOH is my pooper too, so I understand.  but i've found that once i let it go, i was suddenly a lot less disappointed/angry/stressed.

    enjoy your remaining days before the i do and don't let her get to you!!!

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    jms1019jms1019 member
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies. I have tried asking if everything's fine with my MOH, and each time she just brushes it off like she's just had an off day. My FMIL said she went through the same thing with her MOH and so did my FSIL, we joke that it's just going to be a family tradition. I'll just make sure to let my other BM that have really stepped up that it hasn't gone unnoticed.
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    edited December 2011
    My MOH is being Uber Bitch too. It sucks, because she's been my BFF since I was 12 and now, at this huge time in my life, she's not even there for me. I mean, I know she's going through some crap (her wedding was supposed to be last summer, they broke up before the wedding, and everything is a mess), but I'm not asking for much. I just want my bestie to be more interested in me than her new boyfriend. :( 
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