Am I being a DIVA?

uofmgirl1229

Ok so I need really honest answers. please help. I am getting married on 8/27/11, and my twin sister is expecting a baby on 8/26/11..... She also lives out of state.This would make it pretty hard for her to make the journey towards the end of the pregnancy. I am working on setting a date for my bridal shower and her baby shower on the same weekend, all of our family lives near me. So the orginal plan was to have it in june. then she said that she wanted me to move it to May so they both wouldn't be in the same weekend. I told her no. I sugested that she have the baby shower in May. she stated that people don't have baby showers that early. I said the people dont have bridal showers that early. so she said some nasty things about me, and that pretty much ended the conversation.

So now after talking to my mom and my MOH we are deciding to do the bridal shower the last saturday in june, that way my sister can still travel from out of stated and it will be somewhat close to the wedding date.  She is still not happy. What do I do?

But what I really want to know is am I being a Diva? Please help!!

mespence47

I know you are trying to help your family, but if it is a big issue, you pick the weekend that works for YOU for YOUR bridal shower and she should pick the weekend that works for HER to have HER baby shower.  And people do have bridal/baby showers that early.  It's what works best for you/people throwing it for you.  

You're not being a "diva," but you should both just work on being happy for each other.  What is she still not happy about? 

McKenna2012

It's great that you are trying to be accommodating for everyone, but sometimes it just gets to a place where you have to accept that you cannot please all of the people all of the time. If it were me, I would want my sister there, but if the majority of my shower guests could make it a day she couldn't, I would have no problem carrying on without her. 

uofmgirl1229

she is still not happy with the date, she texted me this morning and wants me to change the date to july 10th so she have hers on a different weekend. at this point I am at a lost for words. I keep changing the date on my MOH and I feel she is getting anoyed.

 WTF at this point...... I don't even want a shower anymore.......

MairePoppy

Each of you should choose the date for your own shower. They don't have to be on the same weekend. In fact, if your guests are all local, they would probably prefer not to attend two showers in one weekend. It's expensive and they probably have other things that they would like to do with their precious weekend days.

Call your sister and ask her which date she would like. Then you choose a different date, preferably with a month between them.

Congratulations to you both. This should be a very happy time for your family. Don't spoil it by fighting over such silly things.

stitchingchica

If the question is am I being a diva, I would say perhaps both you and your sister are a little too much on its-about-me/diva side and not on the i'm-so-thirilled-for-you/giving side. I get that its hard, but she's just as hurt as you are. It seems like you feel:
I'm the bride, so why can't i pick my own shower date when I want it?
and she feels:
I'm bringing a baby into the family so why isn't my shower at time of my pregnancy that i want it?

I know you feel disrespected that she's not focusing on your excitement to be a bride, so can't it seem likely that she feels disrespected that you're not focusing your excitement on her carrying your new niece or nephew? I know its hard, but instead of each being your own cheerleaders, you should focus on trying to be cheerleaders for each other. Since her news is a baby and yours is a marriage (and I have to say, I think a human being outweighs a ceremony, no matter how significant and special), maybe give in to her so she doesn't carry this grudge after you become an auntie. Sometimes waving the white flag is the kindest thing you can do, even when its undeserved.

lingchow865

Im not quite sure what im seeing that others arent but you have been very accomodating in changing the date time and time again for your sister. It doesnt seem as though she is being accomodating at all. Still, she is your sister and she is pregnant and she deserves her day too. I suggest that you ask her what she would like her day to be. Then tell her thats great and youll see her then and your excited for it. Then pick a different date thats atleast some days away and tell her firmly that that is the date and if shed like to come, youll be happy to have her and hope that she can. If she cant, or is still unhappy then all well. Cause you cant be flaky on your bridal peeps either. The end. Hope that helps!

redheadtmk

I don't see any Diva behavior. Personally, going to a shower requires me to rearrange my schedule and take off most of a day. Which I am more than happy to do for the people I care about.  In a situation like yours, if I could take care of two showers in one day, it would make my life much easier. Which it sounds like you are trying to make things easier for your family and your sister so she doesnt have to travel two times.  However she seems to want to travel twice, once for her shower and once for yours. At this point I would respect her wishes, know you did your best to make things easier for everyone, plan your shower and let her plan hers. Good luck!

ADTonk

So bridal showers/baby showers are usually about 2 months before the big day.  Of all of the weekends in June and July, why are the two of you choosing the same weekend. I don't even see why this is a problem. 

rknox88

I think you had good intentions. That being said, most people would certainly understand your bridal shower being scheduled a little earlier than normal to accommodate your pregnant sister. That would be totally understandable in my book. Besides May would have only been 3 months before your wedding-no big deal.

I wouldn't say you were being a Diva, because I don't think it was your intent to be rude or dramatic but I willl say that the situation could have been handled differently, with better results.