Guys night

farrahdg

I am so upset with my fiance that I am about to explode. So we are creating our website and he wanted to place information about two informal get-togethers the night before our wedding. I'm not upset about him wanting to hang out I'm mad and hurt because I feel excluded. He has a vision of the night being a "college" reunion type of event and I just feel like that "WE" should be spending time with all of our guests as a couple.

Just a little background...one of his boys had a similar set up for his wedding in ATL. I attended but I ended up feeling left out the entire weekend.  I just don't want a repeat of ATL.  If you are getting married and you are more level headed than I am please give me some words of wisdom. I know I am over-reacting but I'm just so annoyed.

JaxInBlue

After our rehearsal dinner, DH and I went our separate ways.  I went back to my folks to spend time with my sister and some friends and DH went to our hotel and spent time with some of his siblings and other relatives.  The time we spent together with guests was at the rehearsal dinner.  We both did the little things we needed to do to get ready for the next day.

I think you and your FI need to come together on what your needs are that night.  I knew I needed to be able to relax (as much as I could pre-plan this; my sister/MOH was in a thankfully non-serious fender bender on the way back from dinner), spend time with people who weren't going to stress me out, and see some people who had traveled a long way more for me than him.  He had different people he wanted to see and wanted to do non-wedding stuff.  We did not plan anything formal beyond our rehearsal dinner. 

Can you spend time together at your rehearsal dinner, greet people together and then go do your own thing?  Could you agree to meet back up together later?  DH and I agreed to some "rules" - neither of us would be up crazy late, neither of us would drink to excess, and we would check in with each other before I left in the morning to get my day started.  This worked for us because it met both of our needs.  If you each want to see different groups of people, I would make those gatherings informal your guests and can come and go.  I wouldn't announce these get together on your website but would let people know by word of mouth.

LDubHawksFan

I agree with PP.  If your friend really wants to hang out with his college guy friends after the RD, let him.  The last wedding I went to, the groom came out with us (FI's friend), but the bride asked myself and a few of the gfs to keep an eye on his drinking.  The groom was great and just wanted to kick back and enjoy his friends.  I think you guys should find a good compromise like that...and just ask him not to get too crazy the night before so he isn't hung over for the wedding.
fwiw, I fully expect this to happen the night before our wedding too.

SarahAnn2

The way that we have planned it is that we will be spending time together with everyone at our rehearsal dinner then parting ways for the night. As a PP said, I know this will be the most relaxing thing for me and him - to be with friends and not think about wedding stuff. The day after the wedding we will be leaving for our honeymoon so we will have more than enough alone time. 

If you want to meet up later then you can talk to him about it, but I don't know if I would want to push something minor the night before the wedding. He will probably be a lot more laid back on the wedding day if he can just relax with his friends the night before.