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rehearsal dinner guest....who??

Megz43011Megz43011
in Pre-wedding Parties
Just wondering who specifically is normally at the rehearsal dinner...Is it just the people that are in the wedding party or are their spouses/significant others invited as well. Just not sure cause my in-laws are planning on paying for the bill for the rehearsal dinner...I think it should just be the people in the wedding party. Any thoughts????
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Re: rehearsal dinner guest....who??

  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If the wedding party members are in a long-term relationship, engaged or married they really should be invited together because they are a social unit. Same logic as inviting them together to the actual wedding.
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  • rknox88rknox88
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agree with PP. If a WP member has a SO they need to be invited as well.
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would also suggest that if you have WP members who are from out of town and were invited with a guest even if they aren't in a long-term relationship, the guest should be invited too.
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  • hmcchesneyhmcchesney
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Depends on what your FIL are willing to pay.

    Some weddings I have been in allow anyone to bring a guest and others say if you bring a guest they have to pay, and others just won't allow any guests at all.

    Ask your FILs what they think.
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_rehearsal-dinner-guestwho?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:accaef70-0ebe-4065-b8dc-cf51156b856fPost:22287393-30c3-4c3e-8107-18b349ae670b">Re: rehearsal dinner guest....who??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Depends on what your FIL are willing to pay. Some weddings I have been in allow anyone to bring a guest and others say if you bring a guest they have to pay, and others just won't allow any guests at all. Ask your FILs what they think.
    Posted by hmcchesney[/QUOTE]

    That's not appropriate etiquette.  Yes, she needs to talk to her FILs about the budget, but the answer to a budget question is not to make guests - any guests - pay their own way, or to not allow significant others.  Spouses and SOs in serious relationships need to be invited.
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  • rknox88rknox88
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with HLQ. You and FI can discuss budget with FIL's then find a place that can accommodate all invitees and their SO's for that amount of money. I also agree that OOT guests should be allowed to bring their wedding guest if they brought one along too.

    You don't want to put your guests out so if you have to have a less formal/cheaper RD then so be it. Your guests will more appreciate that you took care of them.

    Also, a guest paying their way at an RD or wedding is never acceptable.
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  • hootiejill816hootiejill816 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it is really what the FIL is willing to pay for. I would personally feel bad if my WP did have significant others that is from out of town to have to sit and wait for the others to get home. But really it needs to be discussed with the FIL and the bride and groom.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    Yes, it's what the hosts are willing to pay for.  But you need to insist that the SOs of your WP and immediate family are invited.

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  • sister2groomsister2groom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If the hosts are not willing to pay for everyone who needs to be invited (which includes the significant others of those who are invited) you need to make up the difference or find a cheaper option. A BBQ or pizza is fine, excludng significant others is not.
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  • LoverBean27LoverBean27 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've been told you are also to invite OOT guests period. I'm planning on doing this for the OOT who never lived in the city... but for those who moved, we are not inviting because they will have things to do and people to see.
    image 279 Invited!
    image 137 Are ready to celebrate!
    image 93 Cannot make it!
    image 40 Have not responded! aka: officially uninvited! ;)
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  • heinz11mswheinz11msw
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wedding party, parents, grandparents. Immediate fam such as siblings if you want.
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  • heinz11mswheinz11msw
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    SIDE NOTE***

    So I was right to feel insulted when my best friend didn't allow me to bring my fiance to her RD? And to think she only had 3 bridesmaids, too. Not like it would have been a big deal. Now I feel better and that I wasn't just being catty about ths.

    Now I know I have to invite S/O. So in this case... can they just come to the dinner part so there aren't a zillion people at the church? I have 10 bridesmaids and 9 groomesman plus aunts, uncles, grandparents coming. It could get ridiculous.
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