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Bachelorette Party - VENT

Long vent.. sorry! I just need to get this off my chest!

I'm probably overreacting, but I'm a little annoyed and put off by the bachelorette party situation.

I'm a bridesmaid. We are less than 5 weeks away from the wedding and less than 4 weeks away from the bachelorette party. There are 2 other bridesmaids and a MOH. We want to throw a bachelorette party for the bride. We have been open with her about it and told her we'd like some input from her. She wants it to be a weekend thing, not just a night and she wants it to be a destination. That's fine. We can do that. 

She wants us to meet at her house. It's a 2 hour drive to get to her house for most of the bridesmaids. I work Saturday mornings and cannot get off the morning of the bachelorette party, because I'm already taking off for the wedding the following weekend. I made this clear to the other bridesmaids and the bride. The other bridesmaids have been very accomodating and suggesting we go somewhere that would be more of a halfway point. Since it will be the middle of the afternoon by the time I can get to the bride's house, half of the day will be gone. Going somewhere in between would give us more time. 

We threw out a lot of different ideas. The bride suggested a big city at one point, a beach at another... we came up with ideas that could be the city or the beach but it would be more convenient for us and just about the same distance and time driving from her house.... I should mention that the bride is from the same town I am from, another bridesmaid lives here too and the bride's parents still live here... the wedding will be here too. She will be spending majority of the last week or two before the wedding here and not at her new place. So, it's not like any of the locations we came up with would be inconvenient for her. She mentioned she wanted bars, we made sure to find those.. She mentioned possibly going pole dancing... so, we also found that too. So, we really have been trying to incorporate what she wants. We asked her to come up with a list of "must haves" and "wishes," so we could do our best to incorporate what she would like. She never made us a list though.

We told the bride the ideas we came up with. She came back to us and shot down pretty much everything we came up with. She told us there are 2 things she'd be up for. 1. Meet at her house... wait for me to get there... then drive 2 hours to the beach (we suggested a few beaches that were 2 hours for all of us to drive to from where we live. Instead of driving 2 hours to her house and then 2 more to the beach). We'd get to the beach in the evening, grab dinner, shop, go to the boardwalk and a bar. We'd stay at a hotel that night, go to the beach in the morning from around 9-noon, grab a quick lunch then go back to her house to hang out.  2. We drive to her house, hang out there for the weekend, go to dinner, walk around town and then go to a bar, then hang out at her house.

I wouldn't mind going to the beach, but I think it's a little excessive for the majority of use to be driving 4 hours to get to the beach for less than 24 hours when we can go to a beach that's closer for the majority of us and we'd be able to spend more time there.

Idea #2 isn't bad, but I don't feel she should be hosting us at her house if this party is supposed to be in her honor. The MOH offered to host us at her apartment, but the bride turned that down. 

I guess, I'm just annoyed that we are supposed to be planning this party for her but she is being fairly picky about where and what we do. The other bridesmaids will do whatever she wants. They want her to be happy and of course, I do too, but I'm just annoyed by how this is going. I think we should be planning this for her, take into account what she wants but not let her control the whole thing. Maybe I'm just overreacting. 

Sorry this is really long. I just needed to vent more than anything! 

Re: Bachelorette Party - VENT

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    edited December 2011
    I don't think you're overreacting and the I think the bride is being very pushy and demanding. You are all nice enough to ask her opinion and run things by her, but she doesn't seem to care. What she doesn't realize is that you all don't have to do anything for her. 

    I think you al need to plan whatever works for you and the bride needs to get over it. She should be happy just to be spending time with you. 

    Sorry you got stuck in such a crappy situation. Hopefully you can work something out and come up with a compromise. 
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    edited December 2011
    The bride sounds like she's being rigid in her expectations of you guys.  Stick to your guns, and don't inconvenience yourself to the extent that she's requiring.
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah, i'd be annoyed too... option #2 sounds like the best. technically, even if it's at her place, you guys are still throwing it. that seems like the option that makes sense though... a 4 hour drive to the beach when you could just do 2 is ridic.
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you for reading my long vent! And thank you for the comments and advice. I really appreciate it. It makes me feel a little better about the situation knowing that I'm not overreacting and annoyed over nothing! 
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:ad4057f9-da42-4456-997c-01e9f8688e12Post:2cb69f1e-6cd6-4eff-a890-ea653ffebed1">Re: Bachelorette Party - VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]The bride sounds like she's being rigid in her expectations of you guys.  Stick to your guns, and don't inconvenience yourself to the extent that she's requiring.
    Posted by covejack[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. :)
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you! I appreciate the feedback...and the time you put into reading my LONG vent! :)
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