How many to invite?

Karinabobina

How many is too many to invite to a wedding shower? I went throught he guest list with my BP and we were at about 50 people. I know not all will show up....but is that number too high?

trix1223

IMO, it's too many.  I prefer a shower to be between 18-20 and no more than 25. 

Having said that:  families differ so much on shower issues.

In my family, you never, ever send an invitation to someone you know can't attend.  it's just considered gift-grabby and poor form. 

But last year, DD's FMIL gave the guest list for her side of the shower, and it included at least 10 of what she called "courtesy invites".  They were people that she knew for a fact wouldn't attend (and they didn't) but who would get into a snit if they weren't issued an invitation.

So we ended up sending out invitations for about 35, or perhaps even more people.  I think there were about 18 at the actual event.

Karinabobina

My family is opposite, I know if some of my aunts and cousins from out of town would be really offended if they did not get a gift. I don't expect gifts from anyone, let alone someone from out of town. I felt like that was a large number but I dont know how to cut it down!

Kristin789

50 people?
I've never been to a shower with more than 14 people there, and I've never heard of "courtesy invites" because those are clearly demands for gifts to be mailed from out-of-town. 

The shower is supposed to be the bride's closest friends around her.
See below.

Now the bride's family can host an ENGAGEMENT PARTY to introduce the groom to the bride's extended family - and that's where your mom can invite all the relatives from everywhere.  Not the shower.

Bridal Shower: Who's Invited to a Bridal Shower?

Q.

My matron of honor asked me to give her a bridal shower guest list. Do I invite all the women who will be invited to the wedding or just close family and friends?

A.

You don't have to invite every woman who's invited to your wedding (think of the expense for your bridesmaids if you did!). The guest list should include your closest female pals and relatives (and your fiance's mom, sis, and other close female friends and family).

banana468

Kristin, do you seriously never get out? 

Showers can also include close family members of the couple  - and when you have large families, guest lists add up.

honeybarbi

Is this a bridal shower or a couples shower? I live in Texas where couples showers are hugely popular. We are having two of them, each with about 100 guests. There are different guests for each shower, no overlap other than our wedding party. There are no silly games (which I loathe) or lengthy opening of gifts (they are displayed, but never opened). It's an opportunity for many wedding guests to meet each other for the first time, leading to everyone having a blast at the reception. It is really a lot more fun for everyone involved than atraditional  bridal shower.

If it is purely a bridal shower, I think 50 is just fine. Not everyone will be able to attend, so you will still end up with a reasonable number. I completely understand the "courtesy invites". We have many of those as well.

Karinabobina

My bridal shower includes all of my friends and family, my FI's friends and a few of my FI's friends gf's who I've become close with. I by no means what the courtesy invties to send me gifts. I just know how my family is, and if they are not invited, even knowing they wont come, they will take major offense. I know the number will not be 50, Im guessing we will end up with around 30. I just wasn't sure if this is normal.