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2 Weddings, 3+ showers...

nikiw84nikiw84
in Pre-wedding Parties
I'm a Bridesmaid in two separate weddings.  For one of them I have been invited to two showers, given by each side of the family (bride and groom).  Since the last time I was in a wedding was when I was 15 (yikes, a decade or so ago) I obviously didn't get a gift then. 

My question is do I need to get a gift for each shower, even though I'm only going to one, and a wedding gift- so three gifts in total for the couple?  That seems a bit excessive, though my mother has told me I do indeed need to get a gift and send it for the shower I'm not going to.

Also, the other wedding they are having a surprise bridal shower in Florida (I live in Chicago) that I cannot go to, and I'm sending a gift there as well, but I will still need to buy a wedding gift too correct?

Clearly I know next to nothing about weddings, but all my friends are now starting to get married!

Thanks!!
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Re: 2 Weddings, 3+ showers...

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    LC&NGLC&NG member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would give a gift at the shower you are going to and a gift at the wedding.  If you were going to both showers, I would say by a smaller gift for each.
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    scpalmtree06scpalmtree06 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you go to more than one shower for one bride, can you split up some gifts that are meant to be given as a set?  For example, one color set of towels at one shower, and another color at the second shower?  Just an idea.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, you don't.  A couple of my DD's BM's didn't give her any gift at the shower.  They gave her a card with something cute on it about waiting until the wedding.

    They had gone together and gotten her one of her more expensive registry items.

    I don't think you need to give gifts for all three events.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are invited to both showers as a courtesy because you are in the bridal party.  You don't have to send a gift to the one you are not attending.  For the other girl, it would be nice to send a gift to the shower, but you don't have to.  Generally separate gifts are given for the shower and the wedding, but if you would prefer to give one larger gift, that's fine too.
    Married 10/2/10
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    MommyMarta08MommyMarta08 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    For the first friend, just give a shower gift  at the one you are attending and a gift at the wedding. For the second, send her a shower gift and then give another gift at the wedding. You have to give one shower gift and one wedding gift to both girls (but not more than one shower gift to one girl). 

    BTW- it's rude to be invited to a shower, show up and not give a gift- IMO (unless of course there are two showers for one girl)
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    jed15jed15 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just take the budget you plan on spending on the bride total, and pick out at least one shower gift and wedding gift to give. If you give her a more expsensive shower gift, you can spend less on wedding and vice versa.
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