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Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower - Necessary?

As a little backstory as to why i'm uncomfortable about this, I have never really been to any bridal showers except one. Maybe the one I went to was just really tacky, but the whole thing felt money hungry, like a "gimme gimme gimme! OMG gimme stuff!" party and it really turned me off to them. So I started this whole thing off feeling really leery about it.

Anyway, one of my BM's came up to me and asked me if I wanted to have a bridal shower, and if so then who would I invite. I said I don't know, and just to humor her at least, sat down and wrote out a list of people i'd invite to such a thing. 2/3 of them are out of town and wouldn't be able to come, including everyone in from my side of the family. I've also talked to my MOH and she can't come to it, as well as one of my bridesmaids, who is too far away and is requiring my help to come to the wedding as is, let alone any showers. So I basically have only half of my bridesmaids, and about 5 or 6 other people that are on my FI's side of the family and may or may not come anyway. What am I supposed to tell my BM who wants to try and throw this? (BTW, I think I forgot to mention, the tacky bridal shower I went to, was thrown and hosted by the two bridesmaids that are actually able to be there and want to throw this one. Eep.)

Re: Bridal Shower - Necessary?

  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    You can decline the shower.  They are not required.
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Tell her that your guest list is too scattered so you don't think it makes sense, and you're not really comfortable with it.
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  • edited December 2011
    Just decline the shower, no biggie.
  • AriaGooseAriaGoose member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You honestly may be surprised who'll come!  I live over 11 hours away from my family and friends and my fiance's family is another 5 hours beyond that... I mentioned to my FMIL about a potential shower and she said that OF COURSE she'd be there and then proceeded to give me 10-15 other folks from her area that would be attending as well.  I was pretty surprised that they'd drive down for a shower, but they really wanted to.  So, I'd kinda feel out what your family and far-away friends feel like - you may be pleasantly surprised!
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, I live in Missouri, and all of my family lives a good 24 hour drive away, which makes driving out here a long and arduous journey. They'd have to fly to come, and I don't think they're going to fork out 300 dollars apiece plus lodging and everything else to fly out for a bridal shower, and then pay another 300 dollars plus etc. to do it again a couple months later for the wedding. I just am really concerned that if I DO invite these family members that are so far away, when it's quite obvious they can't come to both, it's going to look like i'm just trying to weasel more presents out of them or something.
  • edited December 2011
    Just decline the shower. You're not required to have one, especially if it's going to make you uncomfortable.
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  • edited December 2011
    I love the idea of a shower in a box.  Also you can do just a shower of cards - where all invitees write a note on a post card from their area and also send a recipe card.  It's the thought that counts.
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