Pre-wedding Parties

where do you draw the line at invites

I'm looking for help with where people draw the line at invites for a shower.  I have recently been asked to draw up a guest list for my bridal shower.  Its going to be at my aunt's home (informal, fun, traditional, females only - she had one for my sister too).  I just don't know where to draw the line.  I have a lot of friends who are males and am friends with some of their girlfriends, but others are acquaintences I wish I knew better.  Do I invite the acquaintences?  They are coming to the wedding.  I just don't want to hurt someone's feelings by not inviting them, but I also don't want to look greedy by inviting people that aren'y in my inner circle.  I wish I could just have a giftless shower and that would remove the anxiety I feel about inviting people I don't know well.

The problem really complicates when I get to the friends I know through my FH.  I will be inviting his groomsmen's wives (I know them well so thats not a problem)...but then some of the groomsmen have girlfriends I only met a few times.  Then there are girls who love going to showers that are aqcuaintences, that are coming to the wedding, these girls are very close friends of the groomsmen's wives so they will know I had a shower and that they didn't make the cut...

a second shower isn't an option.  In my FH's family there are only men that are involved in our lives and I don't expect they will throw us a coed shower - which would solve much of the awkwardness.  My aunt's home is too small to have a coed shower and invite everyone...plus can anyone blame me for wanting to spend a day with just women?

Im wishing it was a surprise shower so I wouldn't have to worry about it.

Re: where do you draw the line at invites

  • I would only invite people you actually know.  Personally I would not go to a shower of an "aquaintance" I did not know well.  Looks gift grabby IMO.   Did you your host give you a number to stay under? That may help you narrow it down.  I would start with the bridal party and then start with family near town and go from there.  Bridal party; Your mom, his mom, your aunts, his aunts, etc... If you feel the need to add the groomsmans girlfriends that you don't know well, and you have room to invite them, you can since they are invited to the wedding and  they can of course always decline if they don't want to come.  But I wouldn't feel bad if I chose not to invite someone I did not hang out with on a regular basis.
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    Anniversary
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Yeah, if you're not really good friends or family with people, there's no need to invite them to the shower. They won't be expecting to be. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Ask your aunt for the number of guests she would like to invite to the shower.

    Invite the MOB, MOG, grandmothers, sisters and SIL of the bride and groom, MOH, BMs, close relatives, close friends. If you wouldn't call them to chat or invite them out, on your own, they aren't close friends. Does that help with the GM girlfriends?

                       
  • I also have a question pertaining to this thread. My sister asked for a list of who on the groom's side to send a shower invite to, and FMIL suggested I invite a cousin that I've never met before.  Yes, she is family, but the shower is for CLOSE friends and family of the BRIDE, right?  It feels a little uncomfortable to invite future family members I've never met before, but is it considered rude to not invite her because she IS family?  I also don't want to burden my mother and sister with a huge guest list to feed.  Any advice would be great, thanks ladies!
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