Pre-wedding Parties

Rehersal Dinner issues

Okay I am already aware of that your suppose to have one.But my isses are that my wedding is 45 days away and none of my bridesmaids have showed any intrest with helping me with anything. My bridal shower is in 19 days, and my MOH was paying for it and come to find out, that may not be the case now, My bachorette party was going to be paid for come tofind out today thats nto the case anymore. So I will be paying for all. Invited have been sent I am stuck.

The girls or the guys haven't even bought their clothes, since thanksgiving I have been asking to meet up and no one has found the time to do it. The dates have been set in stone since thanksgiving, and now since Feb and March is when everything is happening, I am getting texts and phon calls complainging about whats going on and the dates, Yet I have reminded them over and over these dates, But now only one or two people can make it to each if that.

Both of our parents are passed so they will not be at the dinner, But since The dinner is a thank you for all their help, Why should I have the dinner to show I appershate them, when they haven't done a thing. The biggest reason They do have their dresses is cuz I had to show them many links that I was not to buy their dresses, I have offered to help, But now I just don't know. No one seems to care, Everyones mroe excited about coming and eating my 60.00 meal!!!

I am starting tofeel let out of my own wedding and I feel ike I am being used. Can anyone offer me advice, I really do not want drama I had enough today
image 70 Invited
image 21 Are ready to party!
image 0 are party poopers
image 49 Are MIA!

Re: Rehersal Dinner issues

  • edited December 2011
    That's really odd that you'd be stuck with the bill for the shower and bachelorette, I don't even know how that's possible. No one is required to throw either of those, but if they offered and now backed out of it, that's really strange. Just don't offer to pay for them and unless you signed deposits or something, I'm not really sure how they can make you pay. They might be cancelled, but you shouldn't have to pay for something they offered to take care of. Presumably one of them was hosting it, so they will have to call the guests and explain the situation.

    I'm not really a fan of the bride planning her own pre-wedding parties (other than the RD), but if the invites have been sent and people are travelling from out of town and have already made plans and bought the gifts, then I can see how you might feel obligated to continue with the shower and bachelorette. But if you do continue them, there's nothing to prevent you from making them slightly cheaper by modifying the plans.

    Finally, about the rehearsal dinner, that never has to be $60 a head. I've seen lovely rehearsal dinners with just a backyard BBQ or pizza and bowling.

    Good luck.
  • joannalovejoannalove member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you hun....

    No, The most I planned for those two parties was buying the bachorette invites ( I wanted a certain one) and Them asking where I would like it, This was back in Oct. ( last year) I haven't been able to know one single thing about it. But the dates and that the RSVPS where back in!! Now come to find out today Im paying for the bachorette cuz none of them have the money for the partys nor the dress... MOH can may pay for half or soem of the shower,
    image 70 Invited
    image 21 Are ready to party!
    image 0 are party poopers
    image 49 Are MIA!
  • kmd0501kmd0501 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    If your wedding is in 45 days and they dont have their dresses....thats a MAJOR problem.  Are these dresses that need to be ordered?  Perhaps altered for some girls....if so, you are REALLY REALLY pressing your luck. You need to get on that like...yesterday?

    As for the parties...yea you should never, under any circumstances, pay for your own pre=wedding events.  If your BM said they were going to host, and for whatever reason now they cant...its their responsibility to call all invited guests and explain why the event is no longer going on.  You should not not not pay!

    I'd say, with your wedding being so soon, your better off ditching a WP altogether.  Totally frowned upon but if they arent stepping up to their one and only responsibility, I think an exception can be made.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    If the wedding party doesn't take care of their own attire they take themselves out of the wedding party, no need to kick them out.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If you don't want to have a rehearsal dinner, don't have a rehearsal. Or have a private rehearsal with you, your fi and the officiate. If you require your wedding party to show up for rehearsal, then you should feed them something. It doesn't have to be fancy. Pizza and soda would be fine.

    I would cancel all other pre-wedding events. The bride should not pay for her own shower and bp. The MOH should call the guest to  let them know the shower is cancelled, since this was her party. YOU should call the bp guests if you are the one who sent out the invitations for that.

    If the bms don't buy their dresses in time for the wedding, they are removing themselves from the wp.

  • edited December 2011
    Cancel the events you've been "stuck" paying for.  It's bad etiquette for you to be hosting your own parties anyway.

    If you don't need a rehearsal, don't have one, or keep it simple.  My brother's RD is going to be pizza and soda, as PP suggested, and that's totally fine.
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