Engagement Party...Needin a little help

SailorWife512

My fiance and I were talking to his mom about having a Christmas Even Engagement Party.  She liked the idea, but my parents were a big fan of it.  I want to make everyone happy but my fiance is in the US Navy and the next itme he comes home it will be the day before our rehersal dinner.  Should I just have it anyways, since I know they will come anyways even if they are not a big fan of the date?  I am not really planning any of it besides the people coming and the theme that I want to go for. 

vsgal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-partyneedin-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:bcfef1bc-5441-400c-b658-466f8155e18cPost:5d5e1b3c-03ec-4055-8461-88aef6ff1b81">Engagement Party...Needin a little help</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I were talking to his mom about having a Christmas Even Engagement Party.  She liked the idea, but my parents were a big fan of it.  I want to make everyone happy but my fiance is in the US Navy and the next itme he comes home it will be the day before our rehersal dinner.  Should I just have it anyways, since I know they will come anyways even if they are not a big fan of the date?  I am not really planning any of it besides the people coming and the theme that I want to go for. 
Posted by SailorWife512[/QUOTE]

I would not plan any party on Christmas Eve.  That is usually a family holiday with traditional activities.  People also travel.  It is not best date in the world to plan an engagement party. It is self-centered to expect people to give up a holiday that is traditionally for family, to come spend it with you.

If that is the only date that will work for you and FI, I would decline the party.  It sounds like the party is an inconvience to you and your family.  I would venture to guess that it will be an inconvienence to your guests as well.  I would not expect a huge turnout.  You don't have to have an engagement party.  You should not be asking people to have one for you.  That is also very rude.  Just skip it and move on the planning the wedding.

freebread03

Didn't you post this like... last month and we all told you that you shouldn't be planning your own engagement party?  You've gotten good advice.  Coming back to ask the same questions again isn't going to change what people tell you.

If someone offers to throw you an engagement party, then yes, you can have an engagement party.  You do not throw a party in your honor.

freebread03

Ok sorry now I see that you said you are not planning any of it.  I must have read it wrong the first time.  I don't know why you'd have something at a time that is not convenient for your family though-isn't it important to you that they be there?

That being said, this is really up to his mom, as she is the host.  You really shouldn't be planning ANY of it--only making sure that anyone on the guest list is also invited to the wedding.

BTW, if you're going to post this on multiple boards, use "XP".  It seems like you've gotten good advice on multiple boards from a wide range of posters.

emoemu

Man, people are all up on you in this post! I came to say that I had to reread what you said about two or three times because of how difficult it was to understand.