Bridal Shower

tifanialyse

I know it's not mandatory to have a shower but none of my bridesmaids seem interested in throwing me one. I really could care less about the gifts cause my fiance and I have our own house already, but it's the fact that none of them want to do it or have said anything about it. The thing thats really annoying, and hurtful, is one of my bm would totally expect me to throw her one and she would be pissed if I didn't... I just dont know what to do... I really would like to have a shower, and only to have a party and see everyone together. Would it be bad etiquette to have someone host it but have it at my house since I have divorced parents and my family feels most comfortable at my house.... Just would like to have some opinions. Thanks!

CD2011

I only have one female friend in my BP, and I knew she wouldn't throw a shower/bach party. My mom kept asking me about it, so I just started planning it myself! My mom ended up paying for it and helping out a lot, but if she didn't offer I would have just done it myself. It was something I was really looking forward to, so I had to take it into my own hands.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c273bfc0-933a-4137-8efc-22af1443a4c2Post:8aa51eab-e0ed-4676-9e97-12e2ae72fd9a">Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I know it's not mandatory to have a shower but none of my bridesmaids seem interested in throwing me one. I really could care less about the gifts cause my fiance and I have our own house already, but it's the fact that none of them want to do it or have said anything about it. The thing thats really annoying, and hurtful, is one of my bm would totally expect me to throw her one and she would be pissed if I didn't... I just dont know what to do... I really would like to have a shower, and only to have a party and see everyone together. Would it be bad etiquette to have someone host it but have it at my house since I have divorced parents and my family feels most comfortable at my house.... Just would like to have some opinions. Thanks!
Posted by tifanialyse[/QUOTE]

<div>You shouldn't throw a party in your own honor, especially those that typically require bringing a gift. It looks gift grabby, even if you don't really want the gifts.</div><div>
</div><div>That said, if you want to just have a party and get everyone together, you can throw a party, just don't call it a bridal shower and don't expect gifts. Have a BBQ or something. Or you can host a bridal luncheon, that will bring everyone together, but you host (i.e. provide food, drinks, etc.). </div><div>
</div><div>Also, just because no one has mentioned anything to you doesn't mean they have something in the works. If your wedding is not until November, you could have a shower as late as October. </div>

MairePoppy

It would be okay to allow someone else to throw your shower at your house - if she/they offer. The bride should never throw her own shower, though.

The other option is for you to have a bridal luncheon to honor your bms and close friends and family members. Since you don't care about the gifts, this is probably the best option.

Good luck.

Mrshannahboyden

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-shower-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c273bfc0-933a-4137-8efc-22af1443a4c2Post:65e727af-d35e-4c24-b997-232828e7b3c9">Re: Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I only have one female friend in my BP, and I knew she wouldn't throw a shower/bach party. My mom kept asking me about it, so I just started planning it myself! My mom ended up paying for it and helping out a lot, but if she didn't offer I would have just done it myself. It was something I was really looking forward to, so I had to take it into my own hands.
Posted by CD2011[/QUOTE]

<div>Sounds a bit gift grabby. =/</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>But if your mom offered to throw you one, then by all means do it! I have 2 BM's and neither of them are throwing me one. But by all means, do NOT throw one for yourself. Its terrible etiquette and seems all you want are gifts.</div>

scuster09

There would be no problems with you having it at your house. My bridesmaids live all over the place (Chicago, Texas, South Carolina), so getting them all together is usually a problem. My grandmother and aunt are throwing me a shower at my parent's house that will be for the family. Also, I would not worry about it being too early. We are not getting married until Dec. 30, but I move back to South Carolina to finish my master's mid-August and won't return until early December, so they are throwing the party in 2 weeks. 

angel101798

Try talking to your mom, or another close family friend or relative, who has contact with your bridal party she might be able to give them a push.  Or if they're already planning something, she can calm your nerves without giving away the surprise by just assuring you that they're already on it.  You definitely should NOT host your own shower.