Two Receptions...One Shower?

angeltennis3

My wedding ceremony and main reception is on 9/3/11.  My fils are throwing me a second casual get-together in their home-town in November as a celebration of our marriage for the extended extended extended family they didn't want to invite to the actual wedding.

Do both guest lists get invited to the one shower my FI's cousins are throwing for us in his home town?

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_two-receptionsone-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:d282771e-671e-403e-87a9-df92f9c8a6ebPost:bd3e87ce-093f-4983-b2af-6eaab3454c96">Two Receptions...One Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding ceremony and main reception is on 9/3/11.  My fils are throwing me a second casual get-together in their home-town in November as a celebration of our marriage for the extended extended extended family they didn't want to invite to the actual wedding. Do both guest lists get invited to the one shower my FI's cousins are throwing for us in his home town?
Posted by angeltennis3[/QUOTE]

Only people who are invited to the actual wedding should be invited to any pre-wedding events. The 2nd reception (which shouldn't be called a reception at all if those people weren't even invited to the wedding ceremony) does not count.

McKenna2012

So those people are not good enough to be invited to the ceremony, but are good enough to come oooh and ahhh over you at parties and bring a gift?

LoveMuffins

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_two-receptionsone-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:d282771e-671e-403e-87a9-df92f9c8a6ebPost:7beb50d8-1843-47e7-b6b9-c54495b8b3df">Re: Two Receptions...One Shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]So those people are not good enough to be invited to the ceremony, but are good enough to come oooh and ahhh over you at parties and bring a gift?
Posted by McKenna2012[/QUOTE]

It doesn't sound like OP is throwing the 2nd "reception" (although it defintely shouldn't be called that), or like she's the one who excluded any of these people from the guest list. It's FI's family, and they're the ones throwing the celebration party. I don't think OP is crossing the lines of etiquette as badly as you're implying.

That being said, only people invited to the actual reception should be invited to the bridal shower.

McKenna2012

No, no...I wasn't meaning the OP was crossing etiquette lines, but I think the hosts kind of are.