Pre-wedding Parties
Options

Rehearsal Dinner Woes

Let me start off by clarifying that my FMIL is paying for the rehearsal dinner and my FI and I are not contributing financially. That being said, the dinner will be a three course meal with a salad, entree and dessert. In order to serve desserts, we have to forgo serving wine to the guests with an Italian meal. There will be a cash bar available, but I can foresee some possible awkward situations if people would like to order a glass of wine with their meal, only to be charged for it later. We are having an open bar at the wedding, but I sort of feel like the same rules should apply to the rehearsal dinner-after all, we are asking people to go out of there way to attend the rehearsal and dinner on a Friday night. Since there will be so much rich food and a choice of wedding cake and a groom's cake for the wedding (not to mention that my BMs will have had cake at the Bridesmaids' luncheon earlier that day), I feel like people would rather have wine than a dessert. Since we are not paying for the meal, I guess we don't really have a say. Any thoughts? Am I being too picky?

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Woes

  • Options
    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Can you offer to pay for the bar, or do you think FMIL would consider that an insult?  You could be very gracious about it, saying how much you appreciate her giving you this great rehearsal dinner, and you would really like to contribute by covering the alcohol.
    Married 10/2/10
  • Options
    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    This situation sucks.  You're right, cash bars are rude, and it would be better to cut a dessert option, but you can't really do anything about it if FMIL is hosting the event.  

    I would offer to cover the bar tab for the event, or order a couple of bottles of wine and put them on the tables.
  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Either pay for the alcohol out of your own pocket or decline FMIL's choice of RD and do something that you can afford to do on your own dime that doesn't force your guests to pay for their booze.  Cash bar at the RD is really rude. 
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    Since this is a gift from her you'll probably just have to suck it up and just give people a heads up. People should understand if you arent hosting the event.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker Number Invited 181image Number Attending 148image Number Declined 23image Number Not Replied 10image RSVP Date July 7 Magic Number:150
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    If you can't cover the cost I think it would be smart to see if the waitors can ask those who request an alcoholic drink to the bar that way it's clear to them that it will be out of pocket.  This way they aren't shocked when they drink thier drink and then get a bil for it.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards