Bachelorette Party - spinning out of control

LittleSpoonn

So, I posted this on my wedding month board - but figure I'd ask here too.
As if the absolute last week of wedding planning isn't stressful enough, my MOH and one of my BM wants to make it a teensy bit more stressful for me. 
They have been so kind as to host my bachelorette party - and I'm grateful that they are. However, they've asked the other two bridesmaids to throw in a steep amount of cash for one night ($85) to cover decorations (penis themed - which I keep saying I don't want ANY of.) alcohol and food - neither me or the other 2 bm are drinkers - on top of going to Dave and Busters and paying for their games/drinks and cover for a dance club I enjoy. 
Ideally I would like to just go to Dave and Busters and have a nice dinner and evening playing games then go to this club and just dance. No crazy alcoholic messes - just good clean fun. 
I'd like to invite my mother and FMIL and FSIL but can't do that knowing there will be penis themed decorations.


How do I break it to them that this isn't what I want to do and that it's not a bill my other friends are willing to foot without sounding ungrateful?

goobersinlove

Without speculating that this is the way your friends are... I think, in general, sometimes people have a tendency to make a bachelor/bachelorette party a recreation of The Hangover because that's what they would want for themselves. Like their friend getting married is suddenly an excuse for them to get wild.

I don't have a bridal party, but if I did and they were trying to throw me a wild and crazy penis drinking party, I would tell them straight up that that wouldn't be cool with me. I personally haaaate drinking, dancing, staying up late, male strippers, or anything that is normally involved in bachelorette parties. Not everyone is like me, but if you just want good clean fun without getting drunk and playing with dildos, then you need to SPEAK UP!

This party is supposed to be in YOUR honor.  The hosts should keep your tastes, interests and lines-in-the-sand in mind.  So sit down and say, "Hey, I'm super thankful that you girls are pulling together this party for me. But I just want to let you know, before you start spending money on this stuff, that I would really just prefer a low-key night of dinner and dancing. I am especially uncomfortable with any penis-themed stuff."  What retread said is perfect actually.

Hopefully your friends will respect your wishes. If they can't, I know that I personally wouldn't go, but you may feel differently.