Pre-wedding Parties
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Is this weird?

I have two questions:

A) Does anyone think its weird to invite mom, grandma & aunts and much older/elderly friends to a personal shower?  IE- lacy thongs as gifts haha.  Im not sure if there is a rule of thumb on this, im ok with it and i usually go with the "do what you want" motto lol, but just double-checking!

B) My MOH is throwing the personal shower, and another friend is throwing a "pound party" where each guest brings a pound of some kinda food to stock our pantry.  Then of course there are the wedding showers that some other friends are having for gifts on our registry.  My question is:  while i know its not ok to invite the same people to multiple personal showers, more than one pound party, etc, does that rule still apply if they are different kinds of showers?

Kiss

Re: Is this weird?

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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_personalother-shower-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:da43aac6-c1ba-4660-9430-922f942c83cbPost:7d19db61-915b-4eaf-8367-c5b3b741c574">Is this weird?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have two questions: A) Does anyone think its weird to invite mom, grandma & aunts and much older/elderly friends to a personal shower?  IE- lacy thongs as gifts haha.  Im not sure if there is a rule of thumb on this, im ok with it and i usually go with the "do what you want" motto lol, but just double-checking! B) My MOH is throwing the personal shower, and another friend is throwing a "pound party" where each guest brings a pound of some kinda food to stock our pantry.  Then of course there are the wedding showers that some other friends are having for gifts on our registry.  My question is:  while i know its not ok to invite the same people to multiple personal showers, more than one pound party, etc, does that rule still apply if they are different kinds of showers?
    Posted by jenniferg83[/QUOTE]

    Well, I'd personally nix most of them.  The thought of opening underwear in front of a group of people is completely nms.

    Sorry by I think the pound party is appalling, particularly if you are having several other showers.  Where exactly does it stop?

    I think it's more than weird.....I think it's inconsiderate to invite people to come out one night to give you underwear, another to bring you a pound of pasta, another to bring you a pound of sugar, and another to bring you a registry gift. 

    That's at least 4 separate occasions where people have to give up their time AND bring gifts?  And we're not even at the wedding yet?

    And who exactly hosts and pays for all these "showers"?  That's a lot to ask of anyone.

    In my circle, we have one shower with 20 or fewer people attending, and that's it.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    edited December 2011
    A) You know your family better than we do. If you are comfortable and know they are comfortable with the lingerie shower, then it's okay with me. My daughter has already told me that she would not like this, JIC.

    B) The guest lists should not overlap. Don't invite anyone to more than one shower. The only exceptions are the MOB, MOG, sisters, grandmothers and wedding party. They get courtesy invitations to everything. It should be clear that they are not expected to attend everything and do not have to buy a gift for each shower.

    C) You didn't ask, but more than 2 showers seems excessive. I have heard of the bride and groom's family each hosting their own seperate showers. Usually that is to keep the size of the parties reasonable (less than 30). Or maybe the families are spread out and it's a matter of convenience. But you and your friends are going overboard. Is this typical in your circle of friends? Are you the first friend to get married?
                       
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    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would not have a "personal shower" (I've never heard this term before) with anyone of my parents' generation (or older) there.  But then, I probably wouldn't have a "personal shower" at all.  I agree that nobody should be invited to more than one shower (except WP and immediate family), no matter what type it is.  Even so, having that many showers still looks gift grabby.
    Married 10/2/10
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    melissamc2melissamc2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm cool with opening underwear and lingerie in front of anyone, including my teen daughter, but it's all on a case by case basis.   As the PP stated, you know your family and limits better than we ever could.

    As for all the parties...I'd be a little embarrassed, honestly, for there to be more than one 'gift giving' type party.  I wouldn't even attend a pound party if I were invited, if we're telling the truth here. 

    I'm a one shower kind of person.  All types of people, all types of gifts, and all types of thank yous since they don't have to get you anything or do anything for you.
    10-10-10
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    edited December 2011
    interesting...you keep saying "a lot to ask of anyone"...from the replies it sounds like you guys actually ask someone to throw you a shower??  I would never do that, that is RUDE, plain and simple.  In my "circle" (if thats what you call it) i have good friends and family who are close to me an FI and actually offer to have these showers because they love us and want to do something for us.  I would never require this of anyone.  But considering that we have over 300 people invited to the wedding, and are close to all of them (yes, we are actually blessed enough to have a lot of friends...omg that really can happen...wow!) it wont be difficult to spread the showers across the guest list to include different people at each one.  I was simply double-checking to make sure they shouldnt attend different kinds of showers, not asking your opinion on whether to have more than one kind.  Again, i dont throw showers for myself or ask anyone else to do it for me, not even family.  They do it because they want to.  Sorry if you dont have it that way, but ask for a shower if you must.  Yes, this is common among my friends, no i am not the first one to get married (not even close!)  Thanks anyway lol
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