Who to invite to Bridal shower

doll6789

I've provided my MOH my guest list and indicated to her the women on the list who I would definitely like invited. Some women of course are just wives who I don't know well so I chose not to invite them. But I hear that the mom's to some of my bridesmaids want to attend since they have all known me for more than 10 years and I feel bad that I haven't invited them to the wedding but they've expressed interest in going to the bridal shower.
Also, some of my friends whom I don't see often and who aren't getting invites have also asked me to keep them in the loop of the bridal party but I feel bad inviting them when they're not invited to the wedding.
What's the etiquette on that? Does it matter if they are the ones asking to go? Please help!

marissa_claire

Don't invite anyone to the shower if you didn't invite them to the wedding.  The only exception is if co-workers decide to host a shower for you.  

ljahns

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_invite-bridal-shower-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:eba01170-eea2-45a2-9810-5ab85d382073Post:720849aa-fa0e-4a8e-a780-ae7248bc4bfd">Re: Who to invite to Bridal shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't invite anyone to the shower if you didn't invite them to the wedding.  The only exception is if co-workers decide to host a shower for you.  
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

Ditto. Inviting those you are not invited to your wedding is a BIG No-No

kristenrmu22

Sounds like we are in the same boat...through in a messy messy divorce and that is me. 

Wish I could help but I just posted one myself ha ha.Good luck

doll6789

I said the same thing but I know how some of these older women are and they're not much into etiquette. They'll end up going anyway without worrying about not being invited to the wedding.
But now I also have another issue that my MOH and I have been going back and forth on. I used to be friends with the Best Man's girlfriend but had a falling out about a year ago and I don't talk to her at all. Because she lives with him my MOH says I have to invite her to the shower but I don't think I have to. I think the shower should be intimate and though she's invited to the wedding out of courtesy, I don't think she should be invited to a shower where she's going to be forced to buy me a gift and be nice to me. It's obvious her and I can't stand each other. So who is right, my MOH or me?

midgemoto

If they are formally invited to the shower the same goes for the wedding... keep it small if you can.

lrob425

I had this issue too. We only wanted a small wedding with family and close friends. But several of my mom's friends, who I wasn't inviting, wanted to throw me a shower. In my situation, we ended up negotiating with the caterer to add more food at the reception so they could throw me a shower and invite a few of the other women from the church who weren't initially invited to the wedding.

If you can do that (my bro. has connections with our venue so that's why we could), that would be the easiest option IMO. If not, tell those who mention coming to your shower that you're keeping the wedding small. Most of them will get the hint.

There will still be those who are going to buy you a gift just because they care about you, even though they know they aren't invited to the wedding. Just tell them how much you appreciate it and leave it at that.

doll6789

Thank you so much ladies for your help. I will pass this info along to my MOH which is the one really organizing it all