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Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party Etiquette

lisaandcoreylisaandcorey
100 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
I've read that is a no-no to host your own bachelorette party or shower repeatedly on many knot boards- can someone explain why it is such a no-no?  I do not know the etiquette behind this.  (I am not questioning the etiquette - I honestly do not know why a bride is not supposed to.)
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Re: Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party Etiquette

  • marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's because they are parties thrown in your honor, for one, and with showers you're receiving gifts.  So if someone throws their own shower - what does that say?  It says, hey I want a lot of gifts so come to my shower.  Similarly, what does it say about a lady who wants to throw her own party in her own honor? 


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  • lisaandcoreylisaandcorey
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Gotcha!

    Honestly, I'd never thought about the gifts aspect.  Thanks for the education.
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  • marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Glad to help!  I think a lot of brides think it's a requirement since almost everyone has these parties, but I don't think a lot of them realize that they shouldn't plan their own. 
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  • lisaandcoreylisaandcorey
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was just going to invite my 2 attendants to my house for a catered lunch and pamper party with a masseuse and a manicurist and call it my shower.  I will not call it my shower now.
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-showerbachelorette-party-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f44af317-1a44-43ab-8a97-984b11fde7bdPost:4a87b447-cd48-43de-ad96-1d591fb43ba0">Re: Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was just going to invite my 2 attendants to my house for a catered lunch and pamper party with a masseuse and a manicurist and call it my shower.  I will not call it my shower now.
    Posted by lisaandcorey[/QUOTE]

    Just call it a girls spa day. Calling it a shower sounds like you expect gifts. That  pamper party sounds fantastic by the way.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Lisa:  sounds good to me.  Here's my take on the original question of your post:

    The thing is, you can host get-togethers.  You can host dinners.  You can host superbowl parties.  You can host picnics, BBQ's, spa days, pool parties, and cocktail parties.

    It's just poor form to host anything that's in your honor.  So leave the word "wedding" out of the equation, and enjoy your spa day!  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • sevatiparisevatipari
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So here's the question....since you're not allowed to host the engagement parties or showers why are ppl allowed to host their own wedding or birthday party?  You get gifts at both of those...if you can't host 1 you shouldn't be allowed to host the other.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-showerbachelorette-party-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:f44af317-1a44-43ab-8a97-984b11fde7bdPost:9b0161e2-7890-4f20-8871-43ec91b305e9">Re: Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]So here's the question....since you're not allowed to host the engagement parties or showers why are ppl allowed to host their own wedding or birthday party?  You get gifts at both of those...if you can't host 1 you shouldn't be allowed to host the other.
    Posted by sevatipari[/QUOTE]

    Birthday parties actually go against the etiquette rule because you're hosting it in your honour.

    A wedding reception can be hosted by the bride and groom because it is in honour of the GUESTS, not the bride and groom. A reception is a thank you to the guests in partaking in that special day.
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  • lilcasserslilcassers member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I never expect gifts on my birthday but I always invite all my friends out for my birthday for dinner then dancing. So for this one, I disagree that you cannt throw a birthday party My friends and I make out own parties every year.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-showerbachelorette-party-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:f44af317-1a44-43ab-8a97-984b11fde7bdPost:3af11832-1e07-4eb4-a7d3-97884c4091d3">Re: Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]I never expect gifts on my birthday but I always invite all my friends out for my birthday for dinner then dancing. So for this one, I disagree that you cannt throw a birthday party My friends and I make out own parties every year.
    Posted by lilcassers[/QUOTE]

    It isn't that you "can't" do it but that it doesn't follow proper etiquette for the reasons stated above. It isn't even just about the gifts.
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  • srkropfsrkropf member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bridal-showerbachelorette-party-etiquette-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f44af317-1a44-43ab-8a97-984b11fde7bdPost:4a87b447-cd48-43de-ad96-1d591fb43ba0">Re: Bridal Shower/Bachelorette Party Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was just going to invite my 2 attendants to my house for a catered lunch and pamper party with a masseuse and a manicurist and call it my shower.  I will not call it my shower now.
    Posted by lisaandcorey[/QUOTE]

    <div>This sounds like a great idea, you could call it a thank you party for your ladies</div>
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