Pre-wedding Parties

Paying for alcohol at the rehearsal dinner

His parents are planning the rehearsal dinner and refusing to pay for alcohol.  They say it is because they come from a Christian background and do not think it is right to pay for something like that.  I think that it will cause a lot of awkward situations and that it is a celebration.  They should be catering to the guests comforts and not their own.  My parents offered to cover the alcohol for the event, but I feel terrible because they have paid for everything else.  How should we fix this situation?  Thanks for your input.

Re: Paying for alcohol at the rehearsal dinner

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_paying-alcohol-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f509ab65-9820-4d90-b801-5709ffcc1f87Post:107bb0fd-37d5-4f6f-acb1-aa5d324ce16e">Paying for alcohol at the rehearsal dinner</a>:
    [QUOTE]His parents are planning the rehearsal dinner and refusing to pay for alcohol.  They say it is because they come from a Christian background and do not think it is right to pay for something like that.  I think that it will cause a lot of awkward situations and that it is a celebration.  They should be catering to the guests comforts and not their own.  My parents offered to cover the alcohol for the event, but I feel terrible because they have paid for everything else.  How should we fix this situation?  Thanks for your input.
    Posted by pagegui[/QUOTE]

    If they are paying for the RD then they can choose to host it however they see fit. If they don't want alcohol served, then that's their decision.  And they shouldn't be "catering to the guests comfort" they are graciously hosting a party which doesn't HAVE to happen and which they don't HAVE to host and the guests should be grateful to them for paying for them to be there. And you parents shouldn't override their decision to have alcohol. Your FILs have a very valid reason to not serve and you and your parents should respect that decision. You can all drink and party hard at your wedding, if you so choose.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm going to disagree a bit.  Yes, your FI's parents are doing a nice thing by hosting the RD, but just as the reception is for the guests, the RD is for the WP.   I know that my parents wouldn't be comfortable not hosting alcohol simply because that's part of what makes us good hosts.  And we're Christian too - we're Catholic.  Remind them that Jesus turned water into wine.  :-)

    What I'd do is ask your FI to talk to his parents and see if they would be OK with someone else paying for the alcoho.  OR, if having it is that important to you, decline their offer and host it on your own..  Just be careful because it can also be an issue to turn down the event.

    Just out of curiosity, are they anti having it at all or paying for it?
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you for your responses.  Those are all things I had not thought of.  They are not opposed to having alcohol, just paying for it.  I think they would prefer not to have it, but understand everyone makes their own decisions.  It is really tough because my fiance and I do not drink either.  We have a lot to discuss.  Thanks again
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_paying-alcohol-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f509ab65-9820-4d90-b801-5709ffcc1f87Post:52e55f23-6a33-4b70-bce4-40b99695f06e">Re: Paying for alcohol at the rehearsal dinner</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you for your responses.  Those are all things I had not thought of.  <strong>They are not opposed to having alcohol, just paying for it</strong>.  I think they would prefer not to have it, but understand everyone makes their own decisions.  It is really tough because my fiance and I do not drink either.  We have a lot to discuss.  Thanks again
    Posted by pagegui[/QUOTE]

    I did not understand this from the OP. You made it sound like they didn't want alcohol served at all because it is against what they believe. If they are okay with it being there and someone else providing it, by all means ask if your parents could do that.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Let me be sure I understand the question:

    Your FI's parents don't want to pay but are not opposed to having a bar.  You don't want to burden your parents with paying for the RD bar when they're already paying for the wedding.  Here's a novel thought:

    Why don't YOU pay for the bar at your RD?

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • scpalmtree06scpalmtree06 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Where is the RD being held?  I think a lot of your concerns would be alleviated by having it at a location where alcohol isn't served, such as a backyard BBQ or something.  If you have it at a restaurant with a full-service bar, then obviously that will create awkwardness...but if there's no alcohol within sight/accessible to begin with, the problem would be solved, no?

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