19 to-bo-Bride

justmauied2010

So I am 19 and will be married september 14th this year and i would like to stick to some of the traditions. our wedding is on Maui and the reception is two weeks later. I would like to have a bachorlett party.. but I am at a loss as to what to do! Most people go out get crazy drunk.. but I guess when your 19 you cant.. I do drink and want my friends to all have fun with me on my last night out as Meghan Griffith... I am already a mama so I dont get out all too often! if you have any ideas please let me know! I am just a young bride to be wantin to hit the town with a lil slap on the face! lol

MyNameIsNot

You don't plan your own bachelorette party.  When someone offers to throw it for you, they will have some ideas/suggestions.  Until then, don't worry about it.

duckie1905

You don't plan your own parties.  And, like everyone else says, exercise some common sense and don't post your whole name.  This is a public board that can be viewed by anyone.

Stranger danger applies to the internet too.

justmauied2010

and who says thats my real name... i changed it but thanks for the concern...

MegamiMoon

They say that a bride isn't supposed to plan her bachelorette party, but really, there are no hard and fast rules.  It wouldn't hurt to suggest to your bridesmaids what you would like for a bachelorette party just to get the ball rolling.  Since you can't drink, maybe you can have a fun spa-day and get pampered w/ your girls.  You can get mani/pedis, massages, facials, or something relaxing along those lines.  Maybe go to a nice dinner and do some sightseeing?  Karaoke can also be good fun.  Hope this helps and congrats on your upcoming wedding!  Maui sounds lovely.

brandibooh

The person who decides to plan the bachelorette party will run ideas by you, so it's nothing you have to worry about.

sbgruthy1308

Well although some might say you are not "allowed" to plan your own bachelorette party, I personally think it's alright to run ideas by with whoever is throwing it for you. You may like to rent a limo and go out on the town shopping or getting manis and pedis. You might want to go to the Casino and rent a big suite for you and the girls. Or you could do something adventurous like Horse Back Riding, Rock climbing, go-karting, etc. At this age, do what you love to do most when you're with your friends.  That could even be sitting at home for a movie night with a box of oreos if you wanted. And honestly, I think it's a little over-rated to go out and get absolutely smashed until you can't remember a thing anyways.

And if you want to plan your own bachelorette party, that's ok too believe it or not. Everyone's situation is different, and not everyone has a special someone who offers to throw one. Most of my friends are guys, and obviously none of them offered to throw me a BACHELORETTE party. Ha! So I politely asked my cousin if she would "like to help me plan one," and she actually felt honered and excited that I asked her to be in charge of it.

Best wishes to you!

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_19-bo-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f5542122-0ae5-4cbd-9ab5-5181f931025cPost:c924c631-f5ed-4764-88cd-3a487e09d86a">Re: 19 to-bo-Bride</a>:
[QUOTE]And if you want to plan your own bachelorette party, that's ok too believe it or not. Everyone's situation is different, and not everyone has a special someone who offers to throw one. Most of my friends are guys, and obviously none of them offered to throw me a BACHELORETTE party. Ha! So I politely asked my cousin if she would "like to help me plan one," and she actually felt honered and excited that I asked her to be in charge of it. Best wishes to you!
Posted by sbgruthy1308[/QUOTE]

<div>There's no polite way to ask someone to throw a party for you.</div><div>
</div><div>Sure you are physically allowed to do this, but you still come off looking rude and AWish.  Most people prefer not to behave that way, and instead prefer to have a little class, regardless of the situation.  </div>

deepcovejackie

I agree with MNIN.  It's rude to solicit others to give you gifts or to throw parties for you.

larina+jeremy

disagree. everyone is different, has different backgrounds, opinions, cultures, personal likes, and situations. while it is traditionally the MOH or bMs that will plan the party, who says you cant make your own rules congrats 19!

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_19-bo-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f5542122-0ae5-4cbd-9ab5-5181f931025cPost:ff327533-61ff-45c3-a339-d48dda5aa225">Re: 19 to-bo-Bride</a>:
[QUOTE]disagree. everyone is different, has different backgrounds, opinions, cultures, personal likes, and situations. while it is traditionally the MOH or bMs that will plan the party, who says you cant make your own rules :) congrats 19!
Posted by larina+jeremy[/QUOTE]

<div>Common manners and decency say you can't.  </div><div>
</div><div>It doesn't matter if you were raised in a barn.  If you want to operate in the real world, you need to observe some social norms and carry yourself with a little class.</div><div>
</div><div>I have a friend who's family never excuses themselves when they belch.  They belch at each other and at the table all the time.  But when she goes out into public and associates with other people, she excuses herself.  Why?  Because she knows that everyone will think she's a disgusting pig if she doesn't, and she doesn't want to carry around that label.  In the same way, if you start throwing parties like this for yourself, people will see you as a disgusting pig.  Most people prefer to not behave that way in public.</div>

KurtzGirl24

Yikes. Let's all calm down here. FIRST of all, common decency says you SHOULDN'T, not that you CAN'T.
SECOND I think it's a little over-dramatic to be calling her a disgusting pig. Really now. Let's be curtious and friendly. Saying she's a disgusting pig is just mean and totally uncalled for, even if you weren't saying she was one, you got your point across just by saying people will think that of her. That's obviously what you think of her. And that is not needed on this site.

And yes, MOST people prefer not to behave that way in public, but as others have said, everyone's different. Everyone can come from different cultures and such. Everything means something different to everyone else. No matter what you say or do, it will offend someone in some shape or form.
Did you know that in China, belching in a restaurant means 'my compliments to the chef?' It's harmless. Do what you will and let others do what they want, but the personal attacks on this message board need to stop.
It's a WEDDING site people! Be happy and be helpful, or don't post anything at all.

So, if you want to throw a bachelorette party but no one has come up to you and offered to throw you one, then let's not wait until the last minute. Ok? So, what you do is tell your friends you are throwing a bachelorette party and that they don't have to bring gifts. Although, they ARE your friends, so, they will most likely bring something anyways. Tell them you are going out to dinner or something and they can come along if they wish, but you don't have the money to pay for everyone. So, only come if you can pay your way. I'm surprised your MOH didn't offer to throw you one. I thought every MOH knew that was her job...haha.

larina+jeremy

hey kurtsgurl. thanks for the injection of some real manners

i agree with you 100%. @ 19: if you want a party, but no one has specifically offered, that shouldnt mean that you dont get to have an awesome night with your girls. do it up your style lady, whatever that is! 

KurtzGirl24

yaay! I was totally nervous that someone was goinig to rip me a new one. It's nice that someone agrees with me!
And I agree with you! Just because someone hasn't offered, why can't you have one? Where does it say in the rule book that you can't throw your own bachelorette party? Wait a minute....where the hell is the rule book?

That's right!

There isn't one!

Do what will make you happy chickies. It's YOUR wedding. This is the one time you can think of yourself and no one can call you selfish. haha

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_19-bo-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f5542122-0ae5-4cbd-9ab5-5181f931025cPost:2b7f744a-e414-4357-a46f-4327985452e7">Re: 19 to-bo-Bride</a>:
[QUOTE]yaay! I was totally nervous that someone was goinig to rip me a new one. It's nice that someone agrees with me! And I agree with you! Just because someone hasn't offered, why can't you have one? Where does it say in the rule book that you can't throw your own bachelorette party? Wait a minute....where the hell is the rule book? That's right! There isn't one! Do what will make you happy chickies. It's YOUR wedding. This is the one time you can think of yourself and <strong>no one can call you selfish</strong>. haha
Posted by KurtzGirl24[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's hilarious.  </div><div>
</div><div>Do this and plenty of people will be calling you selfish and desperate.  Probably not to your face, but they'll be saying it.  

</div>

larina+jeremy

@kurtzgurl and 19: i think that being confident enough to do what makes you happy and to have fun without worrying about bitches and haters is what truly makes for the wedding/bachellorette/marriage of your dreams! if anyone in your family/friends meets you with the resistance you see here, i would suggest explaining to that person that for you, a bachellorette is not an "all about me" event, but an excuse to party with those important to you, have fun, and make some good memories. 

@mynameisnot: your negativity is allllll over these boards. why are you waisting your time? your comments are not helpful. if you have a different opinion from others, there are ways to express how you feel without regressing to insults and childish remarks. i kind of feel bad that you are so constrained by what you seem to think of as universal traditions. i would suggest checking out some wedding traditions from different cultures to get an idea of how limiting your viewpoint can be. also, im glad i dont have your friends!

lcsa99

Ignore the people who are trying to tell you what is right or wrong. Do what you feel comfortable with.

You are 19 so no one is going to expect you to act like a socialite. If you feel comfortable talking to your friends and suggesting things, go ahead! If you feel comfortable throwing the party yourself, do it! From what I understand (and I have never been to or had a bachelorette party so I am no expert) bachelorette parties aren't the kind of thing you would get gifts for, so why can't you plan it yourself? You just want to have a good time with your friends.

Just do whatever feels right to you.

lcsa99

Btw, I personally would feel really uncomfortable if my friends decided to take me to a strip club (and I know some of them would be tempted) so I have already mentioned that "if I had anything I would only want a spa day or something along those lines."

It's up to them IF they plan anything but at least I know, they know that I wouldn't want something naughty.

duckie1905

I never realized that MNIN=negativity.  I'm pretty sure she's not only right most of the time but also a huge ball o' sunshine.

Etiquette-wise she's right and Kurtz, your attack on her came off as rude, bitchy, negative, and just plain unproductive.  You had an internet message board tantrum and while she never insulted anyone personally, you did by attacking her.

Just because you don't like her tone or think that posters should suger coat their answers as to not hurt a whittle bwides fweelings doesn't give you the right to attack her.

You encouraged her to show to some class.  I encourage you to do the same.

ETA: And before you do it I'll help you out.  I'm an old, negative, married, bitter hag that had a horrible wedding that I hated and now that my wedding is over I want nothing more than to destroy the dreams of rude-thinking beebees everywhere.  I get it.

KurtzGirl24

I just think this is all getting out of hand, so I am deleting my posts. Too dramatic for a wedding site.
I hope you got my message though....I'm not sure how to check and see if you replied to me though? lol.

FutureGambrel

I'm also 19 and going to be a new bride. There are a lot of older ladies on here who are getting married and know the world a little better than you or me. Now that we got that out of the way lets get down to business. We are 19 and don't really know what to do as far as a b-party. I think that just hanging out with your girls for a spa day, or if you and your girls aren't into the whole pampered princess type thing, do something sporty. Go-carts are a blast, if you live close to a beach go hang out there, If you have a dress that covers almost all of your body, maybe some paintball...there are so many things that you can do to just have fun. One of my friends just got married and she is only 18. We went bowling at this bowling alley that had blacklights, smoke machines, and music so we could dance and have fun. The idea is just to go out and celebrate your last days of being an unmarried woman. Just remember to have fun and don't let anyone tell you what is right for you. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO!

Best wishes from one soon to be married 19 year old to another. Congrats!

KurtzGirl24

I am 17 at the moment, but I won't be getting married for another 2 years. So, I will be 19 when I get married as well! And you know what sucks? Everyone you tell thinks you're pregnant....well, I'm not. That's not why I'm getting married! Not that being pregnant right now is bad, but, I'm sick of people asking me if I am. Can't they just be happy and shut-up?

[Deleted User]

wow people just love to argue on these boards. You can plan or help plan whatever you choose. In my experiences with my friends bach parties were not about gifts they have always been about spending time with your girls doing something you enjoy and relaxing a bit before the big wedding day. Who cares about gifts or seeming like your asking for gifts...the important part of any party is friends and family and enjoying the time you have together, that is the gift, the time and the friendships. In twenty years you will not have the towels so n so gave you and noone will remember or care who planned the parties they will remember the fun and joy the party brought. Enjoy your party and you friends however you choose.

KurtzGirl24

I completely agree with you.

justmauied2010

kurtzgirl: Ur first post about my MOH doing it, I am getting married in Maui and having absolutly no one there but me and my FI, so no MOH. when we have our reception I will have two attendants and one of which has offered to do a lot for me, I have a feeling they will both come up with something! if not I think a nice dinner would be great! thanks everyone!

Now that that is said, it is not tactful to ask someone to throw u a party, what it is is YOU! if that is who you are that is who you are and if you are the tactful person everyone knows you to be they will EXPECT you to ask not just assume. Every single one of you know someone with no taste no manners no tact at all, what do you expect them to do for their wedding? I expect that person to beg and pleed on their knees and make me feel like butt if i cant. BE WHO YOU ARE!!!