Shower guest list

[Deleted User]

Thanks

HobokensFury

Cut off anyone that you are not personally close it.  I think you're safe making those cuts.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for all the helpful feedback. I realize it's a while before the wedding, but I was asked today by my bridal party to give the a list - which is why I'm working on it now. (They are throwing the shower)

Jager1219

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_need-to-cut-down-shower-guest-list-without-hurting-feelings-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f72a7760-fb1c-487f-8292-24f690f627a5Post:72a24680-5c8f-4b30-a366-97319d9f7963">Need to cut down shower guest list without hurting feelings - help.</a>:
[QUOTE]I am trying to get my shower invite list down before I give it to my bridesmaids. I've been in lots of weddings and know what a strain it can be financially on the bridal party. My preliminary list is 65 women which is everyone I would invite in fear of hurting feelings. Now I'm trying to figure out how to cut this down to 40 women and I'm struggling with certain things... <strong>First, my fiance's co-workers are invited to the wedding. They are close to him, but I hardly know them. Is it ok to not invite them? (2 would then be cut)</strong>

I would say yes - they are fine not to invite.  My FI is close to all his co-workers and I consider many of them/their wives to be personal friends.  For my shower, I made the decision to not having any of them.

Next, I'm inviting a few couples that are very close to my father, and I've known them for many years - but I otherwise only see them a few times a year when my dad has them over for dinner or a bbq. (3 more cut)

<strong>Friends that I have invited to the wedding, because it would be great to have them there - but at this point I only have FB interaction with them. (6 more cut) </strong>

I would say not to invite them.  If your guest list for your wedding becomes too large later on, I would assume that they would probably be the first on the list to go?  If so, then I wouldn't invite them to the shower.

<strong>Then, my fiance's best man - his wife.</strong> They live 3+ hours away so we only get to see them in the summer. I like her a lot, but do not have any communication with her unless the 4 of us get together. I am struggling with this however because I like her and she is married to my fiance's best man. I was also going to invite her adult daughter so she would have someone to travel up with, plus she will not know anyone at the shower except me. Very torn about these two (so possible 2 more cut)

I would invite her.  If she comes, then she will meet people that she will see again at the wedding.  If not, I think she'll be touched by the invite.

<strong>And then, female members of my fiance's family whom I've never met. His family is big and there are 12 invited total from his side. Two of them I have never met and are not close with the other - but are of course invited to the wedding. (2 more cut)

</strong>Ask your FI/FI's parents about this one.  If the family's not close to them, then YOU definately don't need to invite them.
<strong>
</strong> Then my stepfathers family who I really really like but never see or talk to. (His adult daughter, sister, mother, and stepmother) and two of those are in Florida, and the others are a few hours away. This is step-immediate family so I'm having a hard time cutting them, but I really don't ever talk to them. (4 more possible cuts) Lastly, one extended family member who is a part of my life, but I do not care for. (1 cut) That's 20 cuts, less than what I think I should cut, and honestly - I'm really not even sure about all of those. Ugh so frustrating. Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions I would LOVE the input. Thanks XOXOXOXOXOXO
Posted by KristyandTony[/QUOTE]

pearlaqua

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_need-to-cut-down-shower-guest-list-without-hurting-feelings-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:f72a7760-fb1c-487f-8292-24f690f627a5Post:72a24680-5c8f-4b30-a366-97319d9f7963">Need to cut down shower guest list without hurting feelings - help.</a>:
[QUOTE]I am trying to get my shower invite list down before I give it to my bridesmaids. I've been in lots of weddings and know what a strain it can be financially on the bridal party. My preliminary list is 65 women which is everyone I would invite in fear of hurting feelings. Now I'm trying to figure out how to cut this down to 40 women and I'm struggling with certain things... First, my fiance's co-workers are invited to the wedding. They are close to him, but I hardly know them. Is it ok to not invite them? (2 would then be cut) Next, I'm inviting a few couples that are very close to my father, and I've known them for many years - but I otherwise only see them a few times a year when my dad has them over for dinner or a bbq. (3 more cut) Friends that I have invited to the wedding, because it would be great to have them there - but at this point I only have FB interaction with them. (6 more cut) <strong>Then, my fiance's best man - his wife</strong>. They live 3+ hours away so we only get to see them in the summer. I like her a lot, but do not have any communication with her unless the 4 of us get together. I am struggling with this however because I like her and she is married to my fiance's best man. I was also going to invite her adult daughter so she would have someone to travel up with, plus she will not know anyone at the shower except me. Very torn about these two (so possible 2 more cut) And then, female members of my fiance's family whom I've never met. His family is big and there are 12 invited total from his side. Two of them I have never met and are not close with the other - but are of course invited to the wedding. (2 more cut) Then my stepfathers family who I really really like but never see or talk to. (His adult daughter, sister, mother, and stepmother) and two of those are in Florida, and the others are a few hours away. This is step-immediate family so I'm having a hard time cutting them, but I really don't ever talk to them. (4 more possible cuts) Lastly, one extended family member who is a part of my life, but I do not care for. (1 cut) That's 20 cuts, less than what I think I should cut, and honestly - I'm really not even sure about all of those. Ugh so frustrating. Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions I would LOVE the input. Thanks XOXOXOXOXOXO
Posted by KristyandTony[/QUOTE]

I think you're safe cutting everyone but your FI's BM's wife (though if she is bringing her daughter, only invite daughter if she is invited to the wedding,too).

Just to reiterate: Not everyone expects to be invited to showers.
Also: Not everyone will attend. 

erinlin25

as said before,  not everyone needs to be invited to the shower just because they are invited to the wedding and if FI's co-workers, family, etc do no know you then they definitely do not need to be invited.  If I didn't know the bride, I wouldn't go to a shower for her... if it were a couples shower I would go to that since I knew FI.   See how many guests the host would like to have and make the list match up.  Start with your closest family/friends.  If room applys, add FI family, etc.  I would invite FI best mans wife if she is a friend of yours since that at least wouldn't be awkward having a stranger at a party for you.   If FI extended family wants to be included in a shower maybe someone from that side of the family will offer to host a party.  I would however be sure to invite FMIL and and FSIL (if you know them).