Pre-wedding Parties

Fiance at Bridal Shower?

My FI has mentioned that he would like to attend the bridal shower.  My mom isn't wild about the idea. My MOH thinks its fine if he attends and I'm back and forth on the thought. So I was wondering what some of you ladies thought.  Thanks

Re: Fiance at Bridal Shower?

  • edited December 2011
    Is your mom hosting? If not, sure, why can't he go? If the host set this up to be a ladies luncheon thingy then that's one thing, but if not, they're his gifts too. (If it's a lingerie shower I think it would be best if he didn't come).
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    First question:  Is it a BRIDAL shower or a WEDDING shower?

    A BRIDAL shower is for the BRIDE, to celebrate her leaving her single status.  The presents are for the bride alone, like perfume, a sweater, a desk set, an organizer for her car's trunk, new stationery, a subscription to TheNest Magazine, etc.  It's to celebrate this girl and help her learn more about being married, and people talk about how it is to be married and problems usually faced by a couple in their first year and how to avoid/minimize those problems, and how to actually build a marriage during the first year, etc.

    A WEDDING shower is to help the couple get a jump-start on their home.  The gifts are off the registry or other practical setting-up-a-home-together type gifts.  It's to celebrate a new home being created by the upcoming marriage.  Usually this is for brides who are older, more experienced, maybe even living with FI already or married previously - and so there's really not much talk about how to keep your individual checking accounts and establish one for joint expenses, or how to juggle shared time at the holidays, or a recipe collection of nutritious balanced foods, etc.

    Your FI would really not be comfortable at a BRIDAL shower. 

    And I've never heard of a guy being at the WEDDING shower either, but I guess he could be there or come later.

    The problem would be if your area, like some other areas I've heard about, uses the terms BRIDAL shower and WEDDING shower interchangeably, and while the showers in that region are really WEDDING showers, the host tried to stick in some stuff that really would be in a BRIDAL shower too.  And then your FI would be sitting right there, and it would be uncomfortable.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Welcome to Kristin#'s "world of the 1950's" wedding advice. 

    Of course your FI can attend your shower.  The days of the "little woman" wearing an apron in the kitchen and being the only one to touch the pots, pans, and muffin tins are over.

    My DH and I spend equal amounts of time doing "house stuff".  Our son does almost all the cooking in their home.  Our DD's husband enjoys cleaning and is very good at it.

    Why wouldn't men want to see the gifts that he and his new wife will be using in their home?
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • loop0406loop0406 member
    edited December 2011
    I think it's cool when fiance shows up for gift opening at the end of the shower.
  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href=" Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:f9544f7a-1398-4702-a003-8253368b64e7Post:1f28337b-af16-48cc-8bff-31423341b8e2">Re: Fiance at Bridal Shower?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's cool when fiance shows up for gift opening at the end of the shower.
    Posted by loop0406[/QUOTE]

    Yup! How else are all those heavy pots and pans getting into the car?!

    OP - If your fiance feels comfortable attending and your hostesses are cool with it, then I don't see why he couldn't attend. For me, I'd rather enjoy time with my ladies and have him make an appearance at the end, but mostly bc that's the way it seems to work in my circle.

  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    edited December 2011

    Who's throwing the shower, your Mom or the MOH? If your Mom is helping out then maybe you could compromise and just have him show up for part of it. My FI has absolutely no interest in being around a bunch of blathering ladies, but my best friend's FI showed up for part of hers, mostly because some of the gifts (especially honeymoon related) were for both of them. We took the sparkly pink tiara off her and made him wear it as he helped open gifts, and everyone had a blast (although I think by the time it was over he was in desperate need of man-time).

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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    edited December 2011

    I see nothing wrong with your FI being there if he wants. The wedding is his as well right? My FI is coming to my shower and nobody thought it was odd.

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think your fi should be included, if he wants to be there. The gifts are for him, too. Co-ed showers are becoming more popular, these days. Maybe, he'd like to include a few of his friends.
    Tell mom, it's ok.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href=" Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:f9544f7a-1398-4702-a003-8253368b64e7Post:e58d2457-f8d9-49c0-8168-17d6c02418e7">Re: Fiance at Bridal Shower?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fiance at Bridal Shower? : Yup! How else are all those heavy pots and pans getting into the car?! .
    Posted by jerseydevil[/QUOTE]

    love it hahaha :)
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  • bekahjane89bekahjane89 member
    edited December 2011
    There is an old tradition that has gone out of style in the last decade or so, but around here (the south) the Groom would show up with a bouquet of flowers for the Bride and hang out for the opening of gifts.
    My FI wants to be there to thank the guests personally so we're doing this. My brother is braving it too so that there is another guy in the crowd (and to help point out faces that my FI may not know yet) and they plan to escape to the kitchen if it's too awkward.

    Hope this helps!
    Happy Planning!
    Beka Lou
  • gundy21gundy21 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I am lucky enough to be having two showers - one will be more traditional - ladies only (and near where my parents / extended family live - some old college friends that live in that area are throwing that one) and the other will be a couples shower (hosted by my MOH) where my FI and I live.  I hosted a couples shower from my MOH when I was her MOH 2 years ago and everyone had a blast (bowling and a backyard BBQ so it was "guy friendly").
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  • edited December 2011
    You can have a Honey-Do Shower.  They are typically for the groom (BBQ equipment and tools and such), but a friend of mine had a couples' shower.  It was a lot of fun and more laid back than most bridal showers I have attended. It was just like any other get together we had, except with gifts. 

    By the way, I'm not implying that women don't use tools or BBQ... Not trying to generalize, just an example.
  • allisonkbyeallisonkbye member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    He should show up for the gift opening 
  • BRwedding2011BRwedding2011 member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think its cute when they show up for the gift opening or right after gifts to say hi, say thanks and load gifts :)
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