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Pre-wedding Parties

Rehearsal Guests HELP!

I have been polling everyone close to me but I need a few unbiased opinions and would really appreciate your ideas  :o)

My FMIL is "hosting" or rehearsal, really my fiancé is paying for but I knew his mom wanted to be involved in things more so I asked her if she would enjoy hosting it, long story short she was excited but we have the freedom to do what we want with this thing.  We picked a classy but small restaurant near the church that is not nearly as formal as our reception venue and they can accommodate about 50 guests.  

The problem, I have no idea who to invite! LMBO! Our guest list is only 150-175 for the wedding and it is 99% family and most of our friends that will be there are from out of town.

I thought about doing only parents, grandparents and wedding party (which includes all of our siblings) BUT I really, really want to have my two aunts there.  One is my mother's only surviving siblings and she tells me all of the time I am like a daughter to her since she has no children.  My other aunt has always been like a mother to me and she is very involved with the planning process, plus her duaghter is a bridesmaid.   

If I invite them, should I invite their guests? My one aunt will be in from out of town and I would not want her partner to be alone and I would not want to allow that one a guest and not allow the other's boyfriend...

Problem continued... I only have two aunts (biological at least) but my dad has a lot of brothers, do they need to be invited if their sister is? Then, the one uncle is of course invited to the wedding, however, there is some serious drama going on with him, if I do end up inviting the other uncles, does he need to be invited? Most of my family has their fingers crossed he won't even show at the wedding and I am not entirely against inviting him to the RD but it does make my tummy turn ;oP

As if that weren't enough, there is my fiancé's family!  His mom has no siblings but she is super close with her cousin, his godmother, so of course she should come. If she is invited, though, do we invite her kids? They are the only others on that side of the family and the one will be in from out of town.

His dad has a brother that he is not close with but he will be in from out of town and his dad has these cousins that he actually lived with growing up so they are like sisters and they are from out of town, do they all get invited?  I think they definitely should be if my aunts and uncles are invited, but what if mine are not, should they be just because they are from out of town? 

I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or seem rude/tacky and everything I have read on theknot is very ambiguous regarding this whole rehearsal guest list deal.  It just keeps saying, "its up to you!" but I need to get some ideas of how others would handle this. 

xo

Re: Rehearsal Guests HELP!

  • edited December 2011
    Please ignore the poll that I apparently was unsuccessful in deleting and now can not edit!
  • edited December 2011
    We are only inviting people involved in the wedding, their dates (or parents of FG & RB), grandparents, and one aunt & uncle who will be staying with my parents for the weekend.  The rehearsal dinner is a thank you to the people participating in the rehearsal.  If you start inviting all kinds of guests, it's just dinner that you're paying for.
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  • edited December 2011
    You must include the significant others of all RD guests. You should also include any oot dates of RD guests.

    With the aunts and uncles, I would invite either all or none, because it could get a little sticky if you start picking and choosing. Could you do something special with the aunts before the wedding, such as invite them to get ready with you the morning of the wedding? I doubt that the uncles would be interested in that.

    I just noticed your wedding isn't until June, so it's a little early to nail down an exact guest list for the RD. It's possible that many of the people, that you are not keen on inviting to the RD, will decline the wedding invitation. That might help you with your decision on the RD guest list. Just don't send the RD invitations until after the RSVPs for your wedding are due.

                       
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for your tips!  Just for the record, since it was mentioned, I am waiting to send RD invites till after the wedding invites go out but I was asked to start thinking about this list just to get an estimate togther.  

  • edited December 2011
    Wow, pretty soon half your guest list will be invited to the rehearsal dinner!  lol 

    We just kept ours to those who needed to attend the rehearsal along with their significant others.  That ended up being H's parents, my bridesmaids, H's groomsmen and ushers, and everybody's SOs.  Our ring bearer's family was invited as well (they're cousins of H), but they couldn't attend.  Only about half the people ended up coming anyway due to conflicting schedules.  We didn't invite any OOTers, as that would've ended up being most of our guest list.

    So personally, I would just invite those who need to come to the rehearsal (and SOs).  You'll be able to see everyone else at the reception.  But good luck with whatever you decide.  :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_rehearsal-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:fa91d1ed-e722-4f4a-944f-710c3786c2dcPost:8bf234b7-e408-4461-be2e-75faf0b4fbef">Re: Rehearsal Guests HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So personally, I would just invite those who need to come to the rehearsal (and SOs).  You'll be able to see everyone else at the reception.  But good luck with whatever you decide.  :)
    Posted by GreenEire[/QUOTE]This. We are inviting our BP (4 on each side + dates = 16), all of our parents (6 in total), we each have one living grandparent so they're invited (2), and the officiant + his wife. (Don't forget your officiant!)

    We'll see everyone else at the reception, and we may host a casual night-before event for OOT guests. (RD is 2 nights before.)
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