How soon is too soon?

emeejeeayen

How early is too early to have a shower?

My fiance recently moved to DC for law school, and shortly I will be moving there as well. My whole family is in CA. My mom's close friend has said multiple times that she would like to throw us a couple's shower in CA, but the only times I think we'll be able to come back to CA before the wedding in August is for the December holidays and/or my fiance's spring break in March. 

Making it a bridal shower is sort of out of the question since all the men in my family want to be involved, so we've got to work around my fiance's school schedule. 

Is March too early for a shower when the wedding is in August? 

(I'm trying to budget for this year so I can afford this wedding, and flights are expensive! So that's why I'm asking so early, if anyone's curious, ha.)

calliopeia2013

Traditionally yes, it'd be too early, but in a situation like this, where travel is an issue, I don't think anyone would side-eye it.    I actually have a similar situation with the travel schedules of two of my bridesmaids who live overseas, and my MOH really wants to do an earlier shower to accommodate them- actually, it'd be almost as early as yours is, in September for my January wedding.

abigail68

Of course I'm not an etiquette expert, but when my now-fiance were dating long distance and travel was such an issue, I think it would be fine. Another option is to "brand" it as an engagement party--have you considered that? Either way, good luck!

emeejeeayen

Engagement party happened when we got engaged in April. My mom threw it; it would be the same exact small crowd. 

Family friend definitely wants to throw a shower. 

It's DW for most guests in NY (approx 70% of our guest list) so invitations will likely go out earlier than normal by a few weeks (and STDs in January), so everyone will obviously be in the loop about the wedding. 

It would just be my close family in CA (not many of us, ha) so I think they'd probably be happier to do it earlier than not at all since they won't get to partake in the larger NYC activities with my fiance's side of the family. (I mean, they're invited, but it's too far for them to travel.)