Pre-wedding Parties

Gift Optional Luncheon??

 So my future sister-in-law wants to throw me a "welcome to the family" luncheon. I am really excited about this idea. She indicated that she will probably indicate on the invite that it is "gift optional". I do NOT want to seem like I want gifts, but she said she knows my future mother-in-law will have a gift for me to open. I feel like that's a bit in poor taste to indicate it's gift optional, and then make sure she is giving a gift. They said the gift thing is up to me...I really think it shouldn't be up to me, they should decide, but I'm feeling conflicted about "gift optional" and how this would make other people feel if they showed up without a gift and everyone else did. This will be a small gathering (8 people).
Should I just stay out of it and let them do whatever they want or should I say something?

Re: Gift Optional Luncheon??

  • Considering this is a lunch and not a shower, I would not put anything on the invitation in regards to gifts. Plus, gifts are always optional, never required - even at an actual shower. So, I think putting 'gifts optional' would come across pushy and weird.
  • I would have no problems asking my FSIL leave out the gift optional part.  If your FMIL wants to get you a nice gift, then so be it.


  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Gifts, optional or otherwise, should not be mentioned on the invitations.
  • Etiquette-wise for the host: Gifts information should always be word of mouth.
    Etiquette-wise for you: they can host the party however they like, stay out of it, this party is being thrown FOR you, not by you. Go with expectation of no gifts, but be gracious if your new family chooses to welcome you with presents! :)
    - Melanie July 05, 2013
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards