bachelorette party stuff

wagnerj3

I am having my bachelorette party this weekend. We are doing a private pole dancing class followed by sushi at Teppo and drinks on the town. Then we are having a slumber party at the W. This is exactly what I always wanted for my party and I am super excited. 

I just found out that one of my good friends told my MOH a week ago that she was not going to stay at the hotel.  We are all sharing rooms so the cost for everything was determined at least a month ago by the number of people attending.  My MOH didn't tell me about it but I found out by emailing my friend and asking if she needed me to get her class covered on Sunday morning. She very vaguely mentioned that she told my MOH she wasn't coming "for a couple of reasons" (none of which she told me).  Anyway, I am a bit peeved that 1. she didn't mention it to me and 2. she put my MOH in the position of having to pay her part or ask all of the girls to chip in more to pay for her.  I am just really disappointed.  My MOH is a college friend and doesn't know her so she put her in a really bad position and of course my MOH said it was ok even though she thought it was rude.  I am upset with this friend. What would you do?  I realize it's not the end of the world nor will it ruin the weekend. But I am upset about it.

TIA for chatting with me about it. I don't want to get mad about it but I do feel like I need to talk with her because I am upset.  Thoughts?

emimayor

I actually think your friend was trying to protect you and not get you involved. In my opinion, she was just trying to keep you and your feelings out of it. I think she communicated through the correct person and unfortunately, you got your feelings hurt.

Don't get yourself down; I'm pretty sure a lot of drama was avoided by your friend not discussing her plans with you directly.

Go and have a good time with your friends! They all love and support you and want you to have a fabulous night. And no one is going to worry so much about the financials at this point, and it certianly isn't something you should be worrying about. That is what MOH are for.

serlace

I agree with PPs.  Your friend went to your MOH to keep you drama free.  Your MOH handled without consulting you (again to protect you, I assume).  So, honestly, it seems like they handled it.  I mean your friend might have gone to MOH to ask what she should do - and MOH might have said she would handle it - not to bother you about it. 

Go and have a blast!!  And be thankful that you have an awesome MOH. 

wagnerj3

Yeah, I see your point but I do feel that it's not fair for my MOH to foot the bill.  She has paid enough. I found out today that this friend pulled out because she didn't want to pay for it. So putting it on other people is ok?  It's rude.  We will have fun, don't get me wrong, but I can't shake feeling a bit upset about it.

fallbride1109

I know it's the trend but I hate the whole "everybody pony up" B-parties.  Ben's best man got left holding a gigantic bag after his.  People ended up giving him more money, but still.  I did not want my friends to have to do it. 

Yours does sound like a blast though!!

Tiffany618

I definitely agree with PP's.

However, I would be upset too.  I'm assuming this friend agreed to the party and the cost when your MoH arranged it, and it is pretty awful to back out with no particularly good reason.

That being said though, I'm not sure there is anything you can do about it at this point.

BanannaP

Unfortunately, this kind of thing seems to happen a lot. I planned a bachelorette party once, and I made sure that people did not commit to staying unless they knew for sure they were going to be there. Luckily, it worked out, but I have seen it happen many other times. I wouldn't stress over it too much. I spent a lot more as MOH than the other bridesmaids did, but I figured it came with the territory. And I truly did not mind at all because it was for my friend. I'm sure your MOH feels the same way.

On another note, your party sounds like so much fun! I hope you have a blast!

fallbride1109

Yeah Anna that is how Ben's best man felt too.  Still, I hated that it happened and Ben did too.

I agree with the PP--relax, enjoy and have the night of your life.  If you still feel like addressing it with your friend later on down the road, then do so.