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:-)

Re: :-)

  • cfibelkorncfibelkorn member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Im probably going to sound harsh here but....here it goes:

    Im not sure why you are freaking out about this...it is simple. Tell the BM she needs to have her dress by such and such date or she will not be in the wedding party. As for the other one that has stopped talking to you....don't wory about her. If she shows up, she does, and if she doesn't, then she doesn't....you will not even notice either of these bridesmaids/guests on the day of....

    So BREATHE :)
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  • Tiffany618Tiffany618
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Chelsea.

    ...and as for the groomsmen on "standby" .. that is a bit un-necessary don't you think?  Your FI either wants him in the wedding or doesn't.... it doesn't matter if the sides are even or not.
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  • cfibelkorncfibelkorn member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:88c21da6-de13-4767-a036-7d5cef039fe9">Re: Fed Up!!! (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto Chelsea. ...<strong>and as for the groomsmen on "standby" .. that is a bit un-necessary don't you think?  Your FI either wants him in the wedding or doesn't.... it doesn't matter if the sides are even or not.
    </strong>Posted by Tiffany618[/QUOTE]

    EXACTLY!!!

    I actually think it is pretty rude to have a person on "standby"....it would hurt my feelings if I was that person on standby
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  • nickandmerrittnickandmerritt
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:88c21da6-de13-4767-a036-7d5cef039fe9">Re: Fed Up!!! (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto Chelsea. ...and as for the groomsmen on "standby" .. that is a bit un-necessary don't you think?  Your FI either wants him in the wedding or doesn't.... it doesn't matter if the sides are even or not.
    Posted by Tiffany618[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with this.   Who wants to be "backup" wedding party member?  That's super crappy.
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  • courtski2004courtski2004 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I would recommend giving them a deadline if you are worried that they won't get it in time. DB alterations can take up to 2 weeks depending on what needs to be done, so you have some time to work with. There are a lot of options for alterations, but in the event that they have to ORDER the dress, you might be out of time. Talk to a rep @ DB to see, so that you can express that info to your BM's. If they want to be in your wedding party, they'll get it, if not--they won't.

    Many people don't realize that wedding-related things run on a tight timeline--they probably don't realize that time is running out. Just take a deep breath and have a talk with them, it will be fine!

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  • DFWIndianDFWIndian
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the pps above. This seems really wrong you have a GM on standby, but if your BM fell off the face of the planet why would you want them in your wedding?? I don't think I would want someone I haven't talked to since June. With you wedding in March you have a little bit of time, but really think about what your asking of these people who can't make time for you. These are suppose to be important people who are being witnesses to your union.
    I am with the other girls on giving her a deadline and if she has it she's in the wedding and if not she's not. Leave it as her responsibility you obviously have too much going on. Please also let that poor Standby guy be in the wedding.. that's a true friend that would be ok being a standby guy.
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I would agree with all of the PP.  Also, I would urge you to remember that it's your wedding, not theirs... so it's not going to be as uber important to them, especially if they have their own things going on.  Would I get mad about it? Probably.  Can you do anything about it if they won't participate?  Nope.

    If you want her/them in your wedding bad enough, then you will have to front the bill for the dress.  If not, like the PP said, give them a deadline and be done if they don't meet it.

    Also, you don't have to make them all buy the same dress, and you don't have to shop at a wedding/bridesmaid dress store.  In fact, I think it looks great when they don't have the same dress.

    Bottom line - breath.
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  • serlaceserlace
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto PPs.

    I had a bridesmaid that I wasn't sure if she was going to flake out or not.  I gave her deadline and didn't worry about it.  She met the deadline (and was in my wedding), but if she hadn't, she wouldn't have been in my wedding.  It's as easy as that.

    And yes, calm down.  Your wedding is in March?  Trust me that you will have other things to worry about between now and then.  You might not even care if anyone shows up come February :).
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  • nickandmerrittnickandmerritt
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:2fdcdb72-d197-4e5a-b81f-e6391488008f">Fed Up!!! (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok so I need to vent and I have no one else to talk to so here goes. Originally I had 2 bridesmaids and my matron of honor. In June i selected the dress and emailed everyone pictures and prices. <strong>Fast forward to now, I haven't heard from one of my bm ironically since the 1 day she decided to talk to me in Nov. which was her bday. And my other bm which is my "close" cousin has yet to buy her dress and keeps giving me the run around about how she doesn't have the money to purchase (it's $100 at db). </strong>Usually I would be totally understanding but I cant anymore. She hasn't worked in over a year (nothing wrong with her), and has basically waited to the last minute for someone else to buy it for her after giving everyone a sob story. Her mom told me 3 weeks ago she would buy it for her, last wk they told me they were ordering it that monday. Today i call the store to follow up and guess what?! She didn't order it! So now i'm supposed to wait for her to maybe go get it tomorrow and HOPE it will be back in time for the wedding??? I told her that I was trying to work on programs, final flower order, and not to mention my fiance has a groomsman on standby to rent a suit in the event she really purchases and that it wasn't fair but she didn't really seem too concerned. So I had one drop of the face of the planet and stop talking to me for some reason, and another try to take advantage and make me buy her dress! UGGH!!! I'm already on a tight budget and doing EVERYTHING by myself, and all I asked was for a dress to be ordered. Am I being completely crazy and what should I do?
    Posted by crookerica[/QUOTE]

    Oh, also, all my BM's dresses are coming from DB, and our consultant told us that they just need to order at least 6-8 weeks before the wedding.  (One of my BM's is dieting, and wasn't sure what weight she would be at at the time of the wedding.)  So you've got lots of time.  For your friend who hasn't talked to you, you might want to consider contacting her to make sure everything is okay, and you may want to think about not even mentioning the wedding at all until you make sure that you two are okay.  Because honestly at the end of the day none of this really matters.

    As for making the programs and whatnot, I would just put all of your BM's in.  If you care about them enough to ask them to be your BM's won't you want to honor them in the program and have them standing up there with you regardless of what they're wearing?  If for some reason it ends up that you and this friend are having a falling out and she's not going to be there at all, then I guess just take her name out before they're printed if it's going to upset you to see her name on there.  But honestly, repairing the friendship should really be your main priority right now, unless you're just done being friends with her.

    I would also suggest ordering the flowers for everyone, and if you end up with less BM's you can use them for decoration or you may even be able to change the order later to remove some.  And have the other groomsman rent the suit--your FI has asked him, so he's part of the wedding party now.
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  • crookericacrookerica member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok to all the lady's offended by my post. Maybe "stand by" wasn't the right word choice. I'm super sorry to all who took offense. The person will be standing either way it goes with fiance he just may not get to walk down the aisle as I may not have someone for him to be with. If he is walking i wanted him to be in the same suit as the best man and if not I didn't care about his suit choice as long as it blended, as to not make him spend unnecessary money.
    And it's just hard for me to not care because that's not my personality. I am extremely hurt because the 2 people I really wanted to be apart of my day and cared about just screwed me over. And i did the post hoping to feel better about my day instead of more depressed about it.
    Thank you to all who tried.
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  • cfibelkorncfibelkorn member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:06367e8f-19f4-4bca-9868-233334708595">Re: Fed Up!!! (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto PPs.<strong> I had a bridesmaid that I wasn't sure if she was going to flake out or not.  I gave her deadline and didn't worry about it.  She met the deadline (and was in my wedding), but if she hadn't, she wouldn't have been in my wedding.  </strong>It's as easy as that. And yes, calm down.  Your wedding is in March?  Trust me that you will have other things to worry about between now and then.  You might not even care if anyone shows up come February :).
    Posted by serlace[/QUOTE]

    I had a BM's slacking and I gave her a deadline...she didn't meet it. So she was out of the wedding party...easy smeezy! :)
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  • Tiffany618Tiffany618
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Sorry that I mis-understood you.

    What if you invite them both to lunch and/or dinner so you can talk things over? 

    Have you tried calling the one that went missing?  
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  • serlaceserlace
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:b02f6093-3b14-4467-9e03-351ee7184468">Re: Fed Up!!! (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok to all the lady's offended by my post. Maybe "stand by" wasn't the right word choice. I'm super sorry to all who took offense. The person will be standing either way it goes with fiance he just may not get to walk down the aisle as I may not have someone for him to be with. If he is walking i wanted him to be in the same suit as the best man and if not I didn't care about his suit choice as long as it blended, as to not make him spend unnecessary money. And it's just hard for me to not care because that's not my personality. I am extremely hurt because the 2 people I really wanted to be apart of my day and cared about just screwed me over. <strong>And i did the post hoping to feel better about my day instead of more depressed about it. </strong>Thank you to all who tried.
    Posted by crookerica[/QUOTE]

    They're not offended, they just think it's ridiculous to tell someone that "maybe" you can be in my wedding.  Who cares if he doesn't have anyone to walk with.  They don't have to be paired off or equal.  He may be hurt that you may or may not want him to walk in your wedding.
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Also, like N&M said, if you're order from David's Bridal, you can wait till January or even Februrary (pushing it) to order the dresses... let people get through the holidays, they'll be glad that you didn't push them.

    My wedding is in March too.  I gave all of the girls a January 20th deadline.  All but 1 have ordered, but she is very aware of the deadline.

    As for the programs... you have PLLLLLLLLENTY of time for those.  You could literally have them made the week before... that shouldn't even be a concern at this point.

    Just calm down, be rational.  You know your friends better than we do... talk to them... what will make them listen to you?  You need to have this conversation with them as well.
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oooo, we have a Post and Runner.... c'mon, don't post on the board, then delete your comments and run... that's just weird.

    For those not able to see this thread... here's the original post

    "Ok so I need to vent and I have no one else to talk to so here goes. Originally I had 2 bridesmaids and my matron of honor. In June i selected the dress and emailed everyone pictures and prices. Fast forward to now, I haven't heard from one of my bm ironically since the 1 day she decided to talk to me in Nov. which was her bday. And my other bm which is my "close" cousin has yet to buy her dress and keeps giving me the run around about how she doesn't have the money to purchase (it's $100 at db). Usually I would be totally understanding but I cant anymore. She hasn't worked in over a year (nothing wrong with her), and has basically waited to the last minute for someone else to buy it for her after giving everyone a sob story. Her mom told me 3 weeks ago she would buy it for her, last wk they told me they were ordering it that monday. Today i call the store to follow up and guess what?! She didn't order it! So now i'm supposed to wait for her to maybe go get it tomorrow and HOPE it will be back in time for the wedding??? I told her that I was trying to work on programs, final flower order, and not to mention my fiance has a groomsman on standby to rent a suit in the event she really purchases and that it wasn't fair but she didn't really seem too concerned. So I had one drop of the face of the planet and stop talking to me for some reason, and another try to take advantage and make me buy her dress! UGGH!!! I'm already on a tight budget and doing EVERYTHING by myself, and all I asked was for a dress to be ordered. Am I being completely crazy and what should I do?"
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  • Tiffany618Tiffany618
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Baahaaahaha Brianna!!  Awesome repost.

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  • cfibelkorncfibelkorn member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I didn't think we were that mean....hahahaha :)
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:04fa02cf-309d-428a-901f-7993c43ad907">Re: :-)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Baahaaahaha Brianna!!  Awesome repost.
    Posted by Tiffany618[/QUOTE]

    I've hung out on the SB Board before... when the OP starts to get like that, you gotta copy their words for when they delete... because they will.... every.time.
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:b06941d3-323c-48fd-adfa-0c549512e9b9">Re: :-)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't think we were that mean....hahahaha :)
    Posted by cfibelkorn[/QUOTE]

    We weren't mean... at all actually
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  • shortgirltxshortgirltx
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:a35b2eac-a45c-4415-ba1c-c59381501aa6">Re: :-)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: :-) : We weren't mean... at all actually
    Posted by bsn1752[/QUOTE]

    She just didn't hear what she wanted.
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  • courtski2004courtski2004 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:b02f6093-3b14-4467-9e03-351ee7184468">Re: Fed Up!!! (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE] I am extremely hurt because the 2 people I really wanted to be apart of my day and cared about just screwed me over. Posted by crookerica[/QUOTE]

    How did they screw you over? I think I missed something...oh, it was your post.

    Please don't delete your original post and turn it into a smiley face if you truly want our help.

    I had another productive thought for you, but my brain dirty deleted it.
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:e4f8fda5-2dee-47c7-9094-469a09047680">Re: Fed Up!!! (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fed Up!!! (Vent) : How did they screw you over? I think I missed something...oh, it was your post. Please don't delete your original post and turn it into a smiley face if you truly want our help. <strong>I had another productive thought for you, but my brain dirty deleted it.
    </strong>Posted by courtski2004[/QUOTE]

    <3
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  • TexanTreasure08TexanTreasure08 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for quoting N&M & Brianna! I hate DD.

    But yea, Spring is pretty far away. BM dresses wouldn't even have to be ordered until Jan or Feb. & florists & programs aren't finalized until a month or less before. So chill out.

    I also hate it when brides freak out about uneven GM vs BM. Who cares if he walks down by himself?? Poor guy being on stand by.

    I also don't think any of y'all were mean. But I had just read the SB post so everything pales in comparison. :)
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  • cfibelkorncfibelkorn member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_fed-up-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:7ab44a90-9d99-4a76-b346-a6d75fb1bbb4Post:a35b2eac-a45c-4415-ba1c-c59381501aa6">Re: :-)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: :-) : We weren't mean... at all actually
    Posted by bsn1752[/QUOTE]

    Oh I was just joking :) I know we weren't mean...and really I wouldn't have cared if I <strong>was</strong> mean anyways haha
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