Questions galore

roseofdeborah

Ok so I have a few questions about practical things

1. I have 30 out of 217 people that have not RSVP'd after multiple attempts to contact them through calls, texts, facebook, sending a reminder postcard...I honestly don't know what else to do. Our overhead costs are about $30pp so I can't just expect that many people will show up. I have 3 more days until I have to turn in the final list to the caterer. Do you ever get to the point where you just say sorry its too late you can't come? That seems so rude to me...although my mom is at her wits end not understanding thinking these people are the most rude people on the planet and doesn't care anymore lol. 

2. Seating chart questions- So we get a reply card back that has Mr & Mrs Smith want chicken and fish. How do I let the caterer know who wants what? Meaning I will have stickers on each name card letting the caterer know ok that pink sticker person wants fish. Do I just guess and if its wrong they can change plates? This would only be the case for families of course. 

Also, my dad has this irrational fear that people are going to move my place cards around and there's nothing I can do about it. I have placecards for a reason because my venue's space is not just wide and open so it will flow better without having gaps in tables and with people who want to sit with each other. Is this something anyone experienced? I can't believe people would be that weird about that. 

3. Timeline- We have an L shaped room with everyone on the long side of the L, including the dance floor, and the cake and gifts on the other side of the L. When should the cake be cut? Mainly the question comes because everyone would be leaving from one side of the room to the other to see the cake. We are doing Dinner first, then toasts, and we will have first dance and fauther/daughter dance and dj for the rest of the night. Just not sure what is the best time to throw the cake in there. People might be pretty full after a 3 course meal to go directly to cake. 

Sorry for the length of the questions, it's just so many questions coming in a short amount of time. 

professorscience

1. We had a few people that we just could.not.reach about RSVPs, and I think we just gave it our best guess.  People we didn't know, we assumed they weren't coming.  Family, assumed they were.

2. I don't really know about that -- I would say ask your caterer.

2b.  I don't THINK this is much of an issue if you do assigned seating.  I heard a terrible story from a friend about a bride who didn't do assigned seats and apparently some aunt barged in on them while they were taking pictures and started yelling at the bride for "not having enough seats," when they had plenty, but the aunt apparently couldn't sit with the group she wanted or something stupid.

I really doubt it will be an issue because the only time people HAVE to sit where they're assigned is dinner, and then no one cares what they do.

3. We cut the cake right after dinner and right before toasts.  So the servers passed the cake while toasts were being made.

fallbride1109

We did like Amanda, cut the cake then had it served during toasts.  This was about 1 hour after dinner started and it seemed to work fine.

I have also seen it where the couple cut the cake as soon as they are announced.  That way it's done and out of the way and since everyone is likely standing anyway, they can all move over and see it.  Then you can go on about your business and just serve the cake whenever you want.

MarieSD

1. We had about 5 people that we couldn't reach, even though we tried every method we could think of. We decided they weren't coming. And they didn't. I'm not sure about 30 people ... but I figured 5 was a small enough number it probably wouldn't matter even if they did show up.

2. I'd assume they'll just switch if it's wrong. I usually don't even remember what I ordered, so I wouldn't think twice.

2b. I wouldn't worry about it, since you can't control what people do. (Especially people that switch their name cards ... I personally think it's kind of rude). Can you just have color-coded name cards, or some other way that the name card indicates the food choice? Like Mrs. Smith ordered fish so her card is blue, and even if she switches her seat she'll still have the blue (fish) card in front of her? (I have no idea how this works -- I didn't have any kind of assigned seats because MIL told me her side of the family would switch out of spite if I tried to assign anything. So I didn't even bother.)

3. Do you have a preference on the cake? It really can be done at any time. I'm used to seeing it done in the middle of the evening -- my coordinator actually told me that a lot of older folks stay until the cake is cut, and then they know it's OK to leave. That's kind of the last "wedding event" of the evening (and after that is just more dancing). So we had it around 9 for a 7-12 pm wedding reception.

angelsong21

We had 10-15 people we couldn't reach.  Most of them we never heard from at all - no RSVP, no card, no acknowledgement whatsoever.  We heard from one person five days after the wedding via their mailed RSVP.  Sweet.  I just didn't include them in the head count, and none of them showed.  Even if they had, I had 10 other guests that no-showed after RSVPing "yes" so it balanced it out.  My venue recommended we order the EXACT number of meals for those who RSVP'd "yes" for this very reason -- it tends to balance out.

Ugh, we didn't have a seating chart, so I can't help with this.  After what seemed like 203592387 e-mails from my mom or MIL about who "needed" to sit with who, I threw my hands in the air and just had two extra tables, no assigned seating.  It worked out perfectly fine - no issues at all.  I never thought in a million years that it would be so difficult for adults to sit with others they might not know that well (or at all) for a 30-minute meal.  People tend to swap seats after dinner, but I just had no idea we were all at the point we couldn't make small talk with others for half an hour.  The subject of seating charts makes me stabby, as you can probably tell... sorry 'bout that.

Our DJ (Melody) really helped me with our timeline.  I had NO idea where to begin and what order would be best for us due to some different variables (short reception time, not a dancing crowd, no speeches or Father-Daughter, Mother-Son dances, etc) so she gave me great recommendations and helped me work through that to find what worked best for us.  The whole day was such a blur, but I think we were introduced, immediately sat down to eat, greeted guests while they finished eating, opened the dance floor with our first dance, danced for a bit, cut cake, BM gave a short speech, we gave a thank-you speech, more dancing, private last dance, exit.  If we had cut the cake right when we came in and then done the First Dance immediately following dinner, the guests would have had nothing else to look forward to for the remainder of the reception.  Therefore, cutting the cake when we came in just didn't work for us.