July 2012 Weddings
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Do You Ever Feel Guilty?

For the amount of money you are spending on your wedding? This is a battle I have with myself daily..I want it to be beautiful & special but I feel guilty for spending so much on the day..don't get me wrong...I am also beyond excited at the same time!
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Re: Do You Ever Feel Guilty?

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    Yes. End of story.
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    ALL. THE. TIME.  We are keeping it well within what we can afford but for 1 day, it is so much and sometimes it doesn't seem rational.
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    Ugh I just looked at my budget and it keeps creeping up and is getting close to the point of me being like that is totally unreasonable!! But it is what it is and hopefully it all turns out amazing!

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    Y.E.S! lol I feel even more guilty when someone says " you could use the money for a down payment on a house" or " save the money and go to the courthouse"  ugh! -_-
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    Yes! and it freaks me out. I think about it everyday. But this is why we should make the planning as pleasurable as possible, to let it last longer than one day.
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    Yes.  I think I feel more quilty about it since my parents are paying for it.  I hate that they are spending that much on me for one day even if they tell me over and over that they have money set aside for it. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_ever-feel-guilty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:280b0201-6246-4156-a6d9-be5f950a5462Post:fc5bf779-7978-4101-94c7-91e450208d45">Re: Do You Ever Feel Guilty?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes.  I think I feel more quilty about it since my parents are paying for it.  I hate that they are spending that much on me for one day even if they tell me over and over that they have money set aside for it. 
    Posted by AllyG303[/QUOTE]

    Seriously. My mom's paying for the whole thing (my father passed away a long time ago) and I feel terrible about it. Especially because both fiance and I are lawyers. She won't let us pay for it, though. She insists and everytime I bring it up she says that paying for our wedding would be "what my dad would want." How can you argue with that!?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_ever-feel-guilty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:280b0201-6246-4156-a6d9-be5f950a5462Post:ff3a4542-6bd5-44cb-ab77-f2aa85d0e57d">Re: Do You Ever Feel Guilty?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are keeping it well within what we can afford but for 1 day, it is so much and sometimes it doesn't seem rational.
    Posted by penny12986[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. Sometimes I'm really jealous of those people who go to a courthouse or have a super low key wedding at a restaurant, and later go on an amazing honeymoon with all the money saved. But then my annoying sentimental self kicks back in and reminds me how much I'd regret not having all the little extras we're paying for. *sigh* FI is caught in the middle too, he thinks a wedding is soo much money when we could just go on an awesome trip.. but then he's like.. but but I want a kick-ass party though!!! hahaha
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    Everytime I think about it, I wonder why i'm not in the wedding business!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_ever-feel-guilty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:280b0201-6246-4156-a6d9-be5f950a5462Post:ead236f6-cdc3-415c-835d-7e96827b23ee">Re: Do You Ever Feel Guilty?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Y.E.S! lol I feel even more guilty when someone says " you could use the money for a down payment on a house" or " save the money and go to the courthouse"  ugh! -_-
    Posted by hmacsine[/QUOTE]

    EXACTLY! My mother says this constantly especially when FI brings up wanting children now but within almost the same breath she says how beautiful the wedding will be. It is alot and yes it could be a down payment on a home or more yet it's the ONE day we will cherish for the rest of our lives that we became one with our love's.
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    Most definitely...at least once a week if not more....today is one of those days...
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_ever-feel-guilty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:280b0201-6246-4156-a6d9-be5f950a5462Post:ead236f6-cdc3-415c-835d-7e96827b23ee">Re: Do You Ever Feel Guilty?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Y.E.S! lol I feel even more guilty when someone says " you could use the money for a down payment on a house" or " save the money and go to the courthouse"  ugh! -_-
    Posted by hmacsine[/QUOTE]

    My fiance and his family say this all the time...Its annoying

    Do I feel guilty? Yesss right now I'm unemployed and trying to get back into school theres a program I really want to do and it costs the same amount I have in my wedding savings...HOW TEMPTING! But I know 20yrs down the road I'll be so thankful I wore the dress, ate the cake and said "I do" infront of my family and close friends :)
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    The price blow my mind but, i know its the only wedding ill ever have. I try to not feel guilty but it would be a nice to not spend near as much.
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    Oh yes!

    My FI has a lot of savings, and we will have money left for a down payment, but we are still debating whether we will go through with our dream honeymoon. I really want to make it cheaper, and when I think of our current budget, I'm thinking 'sure there must be something we can do cheaper'. But then I look at the spreadsheet and there's nothing I can find that I'd want to skip. The only thing we could do at this time is drastically cut the guest list, but that's not something FI wants.
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    I think about this every day. I wanted to elope and my FI was right on board with the idea until this past September.

    I still secretly hope that he will change his mind. I want to marry him, he is my world and he will do and has done anything and everything without me asking for help.

    I'm doing this for him. I detest every moment of my wedding plans, being broke and always looking for the next sale on groceries.

    I remind myself everyday that I'm doing this for him. He gets very excited when he talks about the wedding it's really cute.

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    Yes I do!! You spend money for the one day that should be the happiest day in your life and for that amount of money you could use for a house or a new car, but  I just keep telling myself hmm this is a good cause too because I am saying I DO to my best friend, cant really ask for more.
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    I guess I'm in the minority. I don't look at it as "just one day". I see it as celebrating finding the love of my life. So many people do not find love and this marriage is meant to last the rest of our lives. So this will be the greatest celebration we will ever throw.

    Maybe if we didn't already have a house or if our parents were paying I would feel a little guilty. But when I look at it in the grand scheme of things we will be working 35 more years before retirement, so if it takes less than 1 year's salary to have a great wedding and honeymoon then I think we are doing pretty good. Wink
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    edited December 2011
    I must also be in the minority because I don't really feel guilty about any of it.

    My parents are paying for the whole thing, but they gave us a budget to work with, so it's not like we're getting too crazy or anything. My parents had a really nice wedding that my grandparents paid for, so for my mom, I always knew she wanted to do the same for me and to do something even nicer. She's loving the entire planning process, and she's such a perfectionist, she's insisting on extra expenses that I've told her multiple times that I don't even care about (one big, costly example is the photobooth that she insists on). So, it would be easier to feel guilty about it if she weren't so into the whole thing, I suppose.
    As mom keeps saying, you're only having one wedding. Make it everything you could ever want.

    I've only felt guilt about two things so far: spending money on the super nice invites that I love when everyone is only going to throw them away later (so I decided I may design my own to save my parents some money) and spending $400 on a cathedral veil that I will only wear for the ceremony. Yeesh.
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    I feel guilty. My parents have three daughters and have planned for weddings for each of us, but I am the first one so we are figuring out how much things cost as we go. Around the same time of beginning planning, we found out my brother and his girlfriend are expecting a surprise baby (which we are all thrilled about - but it does change the "plans" they both had). Theyr'e both relatively young, and not finished university or post-secondary training yet, so I know my parents are planning to help support them until they are on their feet. 
    I think that's the main reason I feel twinges of guilt, because I imagine that money going towards my nephew's education, or getting my brother through the program he just started, or allowing his girlfriend to stay home with the baby for longer. When we first found out, I told my mom I wanted to cut way back and free up wedding money for my brother, but she told me that they were in a position to help my brother while also giving me the wedding we had planned. I am beyond greatful for my parents, I can't even express the extent of it.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_ever-feel-guilty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:280b0201-6246-4156-a6d9-be5f950a5462Post:fc5bf779-7978-4101-94c7-91e450208d45">Re: Do You Ever Feel Guilty?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes.  I think I feel more quilty about it since my parents are paying for it.  I hate that they are spending that much on me for one day even if they tell me over and over that they have money set aside for it. 
    Posted by AllyG303[/QUOTE]

    My thoughts exactly.....I feel bad about even accepting a Christmas present from them! Its so much money for ONE day!
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    Definitely not. 

    Yes, it's an absurd amount of money... but it's a once-in-a-lifetime celebration.  Any time you have that many people getting together, of course you're going to shell out a ton of money.  For me, it's totally going to be worth it. 

    We both work hard and we want to enjoy this time in our lives.  We'll have the rest of our lives to worry about money. :)  (Although it IS painful when I check the budget out every so often.....)
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    I feel guilty all the time... I often wish we could elope to the court house and just take the money and buy a brand new car... Not at all excited about spending all that money for other people i barely know to party.... But i keep reminding my self this is for the families, its important to our mothers...  I could care less about a "wedding" its the marriage that i care about and look forward too
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