Advice!

bacaldwell

What is the advice you wish you got when you got engaged and first started planning your wedding? What did you wish you splurged on more and vis versa?

Also, to have an engagement party or not? FI is in the police academy and only has weekends off (which he uses to recover from the previous week). Therefore, we would have to do it on a weekend and hope he still recovers from the previous week well, or do it in October when he gets out. Is that too far away? Do it, don't do it? Is it really that important?

We're getting married Oct 2013. Hello long engagement!

I'm all ears! Thanks in advance!

crash2729

I didn't have one. It's really personal preference. Also, pick your venue wisely. They can make or break the experience for you IMO.

cwaggoner07

Since you have some time, browse the boards for vendor reviews and recommendations befor booking anyone.

professorscience

Set a budget and stick with it.

As far as engagement parties, my ILs friends threw one for us six months before we got married.  They wanted to do it closer to our wedding, but it just didn't work out timewise.  If someone is offering to throw one for you, obviously they have to work around the schedule of the couple.

cwaggoner07

We are having an engagement party/ shower two months before the wedding in FI's hometown in Arkansas, since most of them won't make the 9 hour drive down to Dallas for the wedding (even so, they are all invited).

People will bring gifts, but it's going to start at 7 and it sounds to me like it's basically going to just be a big party. The host doesn't even want us to open presents at the shower since it will be so big and we just want time to mingle.
This just worked better for us, and also since we are having a short engagement it just made sense.

fallbride1109

Also, to have an engagement party or not? Do it, don't do it? Is it really that important?

I didn't care anything about having an engagement party.  We were older and this was my second wedding.  I have never been to one.

What is the advice you wish you got when you got engaged and first started planning your wedding?

That all the little details you spend hours obsessing over don't matter.  No one cares about them except you. 

I also wish I had been told about all the great dress shops in Dallas and not thought I only had AA and DB as my choices.

What did you wish you splurged on more...

Videography.  We didn't have it and it's my one regret.

and vis versa?

Easy.  Favors.  You don't need them.  At least not what I spent on them.

ktwed1

That's some good advice. We have a long engagement too and have decided no engagement party. We're not doing favors. I'm glad Stephanie brought up videographer because I originally was thinking no. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to find a way to fit it in the budget.

courtski2004

My mantra during planning:
--'No pay, no say" I had a lot of opinionated IL's who weren't contributing a dime to the wedding, and it took me a LONG time to come to terms with the fact that if I was the one paying I really didn't need to consider anyone's input unless I really wanted to. Especially if said opinions would end up costing more money.
Right along with my mantra, I will also say to set a firm budget and stick to it. There will always be smallish things that you want to add, but in the scheme of things they really won't make or break the wedding. Lots of the smallish things that added up and eventually caused us to exceed our budget were not even noticed on the day of, and I didn't even use some of them.

Engagement party: Don't thrown your own. If someone offers to throw you one that is great, but don't feel like it is necessary. I thought it was and in retrospect I think my family felt obligated to throw one for us because I talked about it a lot once we were engaged. I mostly figured that it would be the only opportunity for all the parents to meet (since mine are OOT)...but we didn't need a party for that. Dinner would have sufficed, and it would have been a heck of a lot cheaper.

bobbileighb

We didnt have an engagement party and I have never been to one either, I am not sure if its my group of friends or that I was in NE but they werent common.

What is the advice you wish you got when you got engaged and first started planning your wedding? Dont forget to account for all the little things in your budget.  I had a pretty solid budget on the big stuff, but when it came down to tons of the little things they added up to be a couple thousand that we didnt account for.
 
What did you wish you splurged on more: Our videographer, we went with a cheap one because we LOVE our photogs and while I am not overly sad because I adore our pictures and at least have a video it is one of my regrets.  I see some of the ladies videos on here and tear up and I have no emotional reaction to my own.

 and vis versa? I would say my dress I spent what was a lot of money to me on it and I could really care less about it, I have no desire to wear it again, it was actually still in my trunk when my car got hit with hail and now has mold on it. I may just throw it. I could have gotten a similar dress for almost 800 less at davids and I still to this day do not know why I didnt.

MarieSD

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:8b13e8df-260a-4f22-b04a-43fd6f1a13d5Post:5e25324f-465e-4614-8e32-01f37264ffd7">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]My mantra during planning: --'No pay, no say" I had a lot of opinionated IL's who weren't contributing a dime to the wedding, and it took me a LONG time to come to terms with the fact that if I was the one paying I really didn't need to consider anyone's input unless I really wanted to. Especially if said opinions would end up costing more money. [/QUOTE]
<strong>Ditto this. We had major drama with the guest list -- our families wanted a huge wedding with the entire extended family. We only wanted (and could afford) a small wedding. We ended up doing it our way, despite some bumps along the way. And now I'm so glad we did it our way. Not only was it what we could afford, but there was no fallout after the fact, despite the family fued that was predicted.</strong>

[QUOTE]Right along with my mantra, I will also say to set a firm budget and stick to it. There will always be smallish things that you want to add, but in the scheme of things they really won't make or break the wedding. Lots of the smallish things that added up and eventually caused us to exceed our budget were not even noticed on the day of, and I didn't even use some of them. [/QUOTE]
<strong>Again -- great advice. The special shawl I'd ordered online? I forgot to ever wear it on the wedding day. Some "newlywed" stuff I'd bought for the honeymoon? Forgot to pack it. I wish I hadn't bothered.</strong>

I've never heard of an engagement party (didn't have one, and never been to one) so my vote is that it's not important in the slightest. :)