Small vent

crnflkgirl75

It's not a huge deal, but I was aggravated and wanted to vent. We sent out our invites last week, and as I was recording them with little pencil numbers on the back of the rsvp's corresponding to their number on our invite list, I discovered Fi had added 8 people to his invites who weren't on the list. I'm slightly peeved by this because we agreed on 40 people a piece and I cut people I wanted to come so that I could make that number. Grrr... As I said, it's not a huge deal, I was just a bit annoyed.

em01092

I mean, it's not a deal breaker, but if went behind you and did something after you guys agreed on a plan, that's not ok. You need to let him know that can't happen in the future. 

What if you budget for $200 a month on eating out and he spends an extra $200? Just an example, and yeah, it's only 8 people to your wedding and they may not even come, but it's the princple, you know? If he wants to change what you guys decided together, y'all should discuss it first before he just changes his mind. 

crnflkgirl75

It wasn't that he really went behind my back. As he was printing them (we did them ourselves and he did an amazing job), he realized he had forgotten some people and just made theirs then. It was mostly people in his chain of command, so I doubt they will even come. Besides, etiquette says he is supposed to invite them. He just didn't think about it. I was slightly peeved though, and could've used some of his extra slots for myself!

em01092

Yeah I mean like I said, it's not Earth shattering. It just seems like he didn't tell you about it and you found out when the numbering was off? That's what I'd be peeved at, that he didn't tell you about it. 

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_small-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:28a627e0-0c4f-435a-9239-25073d2739daPost:6873a828-47be-48aa-b244-56e76993c360">Re: Small vent</a>:
[QUOTE]It wasn't that he really went behind my back. As he was printing them (we did them ourselves and he did an amazing job), he realized he had forgotten some people and just made theirs then.<strong> It was mostly people in his chain of command, so I doubt they will even come. Besides, etiquette says he is supposed to invite them. </strong>He just didn't think about it. I was slightly peeved though, and could've used some of his extra slots for myself!
Posted by crnflkgirl75[/QUOTE]
Hmm, just curious as to what the bolded above means? As-in coworkers?

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_small-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:28a627e0-0c4f-435a-9239-25073d2739daPost:09030316-406a-40e6-9947-1e85eca8f131">Re: Small vent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Small vent : Hmm, just curious as to what the bolded above means? As-in coworkers?
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

<div>It sounds like maybe her FI is military, and maybe it's a custom or frequent practice that they invite their superiors? Or maybe it's just what they do in his workplace, if he isn't? Etiquette doesn't say anyone has to be invited to a wedding (you and elope or have only close family), but perhaps that you should invite in "circles" or tiers, like all cousins or none. </div>

chickenbut143

Right on, RL, chain of command is a military term.  It's basically his supervisors and those who he works for.  I've never heard of that being an ediquette thing, but if you're invited to their stuff and everyone is friendly (which you can only be so friendly with your supervisor in the military) then I would invite them as friends, not b/c you "have to".  

Venting is always great on here...it's nice to have a group of girls who are going though the EXACT same things as you are...and can offer advice/support!    Thanks again everyone for your support w/ my sister & grandma.  Both are doing so much better!   

ETA: I'm prior Navy    What service are you guys?