WWYD? I need your honest opinions...

jsauer74

Hello ladies...I usually just lurk but I find myself in a dilemma that only other brides-to-be could possibly understand. I am a 2nd time bride with an 18yr old daughter who is supposed to walk me down the aisle and be my MOH...but she was recently hospitalized for an indefinite time frame...most likely 90-120 days. She is currently facing her demons and dealing with a lot of turmoil in her life (try as I did, I could not shield her from certain things) and the realization just hit me...I am 80 days from my wedding date!

I in no way can consider getting married in 80 days if I'm not sure that she will be healthy by then...I am hurt and frustrated by her actions that caused the hospitalization, but I also realize that I need to give her the chance to tackle these things full force and not add the stress of knowing I'm planning on taking this big step without her. FI & I have agreed to postpone the wedding for the sake of getting her "healthy" again...but I'm not sure what time frame to consider. We have been together for several years so waiting isn't that big of a deal...but we're so ready!!! Waiting really sucks right now...(that's the extent of the whine)! We intentionally waited for her to be finished with high school so that there wouldn't be name changes and major upheaval in the household during such an important time in her life.

My question for you is...I already have 90% of the decor for a fall wedding...colors and theme that work well for our taste are in place so effectively we could just wait til fall of 2011 and use all these same things...just change the date, get new invitations and continue on course but with a lot of extra time. But I have also toyed with the thought of a spring wedding and totally re-doing the whole thing. Location, colors, theme, etc. It is still early enough to sell most of my fall decor so that isn't a problem...but I was wondering which route you all would go? It's kind of the "fresh start" feeling by re-doing it all so that we won't dwell on the fact that our original plans fell through. I'm sorry this is so long and a touch on the "poor me" side, but I feel so torn by this right now.

I appreciate your input.

angieandjames

I understand you on wanting to get the show on the road... if you think that your daughter will be well enough to be a part of the celebration, I'd say go for the spring.  If you think there's any doubt, I'd push it to next fall to give yourself a cushion, as much as that stinks to put it off even longer.  Good luck!!!

bsn1752

I'm so sorry that all of this is happening for you.  If there's no way that you can go on with the wedding as originally planned, then I would think that a spring wedding would be very nice!  What are your colors?  I am sure there's a way to incorporate the fall colors with an early spring wedding!  No matter what you decide... I'm sure it will be perfect for you!

btweety04

I can understand where you are coming from with the whole waiting longer part. We were planning on getting married Sept 18th (our 10 yr dating anniversary) but my FI had trouble finding a job after we graduated in Dec (he is currently waiting to hear back from an interview, fingers crossed). So we decided earlier in the year to just push it back to next Sept. That way we can save up and be financially stable by then. It has been hard having to put that dream on hold but I know it was the smart thing to do. I think you should go with what you feel is right even if that means waiting until next fall to make sure your daughter is fully recovered. Everything will work out.

DFWIndian

Hope your daughter has a full recovery.
I think if you wanted to use the fall colors and items it wouldn't be a problem. Those things are just suggestions. Plenty of people have winter wonderland weddings during the summer. It's just a theme.
If you push it back to next Fall while it sucks and I know how that feels. It would give your daughter extra time to recover or adjust.

jsauer74

Thanks ladies...we were originally going with deep rich fall colors...burnt orange with black and ivory...and tons of pumpkins...various styles and so forth...and I really have a hang up of using the pumpkins and rich colors in the spring...I'm just weird like that though.

 If we go with a spring wedding, I'm thinking black, gray, and yellow...and just using the natural surroundings of the venue to accent everything. This will allow my daughter to wear the black dress we have already bought her, but, we haven't firmed up anything for the guys so we could still play with that a little. Gray suits with black converse and a yellow tie...I am terrible! I could really go either way! I love the stuff I already have, and I'm really leaning towards pushing everything to next fall.

I really appreciate all of your support! Thanks for your honest input!